Earlier this week, I found myself in the mood to snack. To provide some context, the extreme cold weather generated some fear and anxiety. I worried about our power going out, worried about my Dad and my sister and their power going out. I worried about our adult children and their families, and my best friends in Oklahoma, who are not used to the extreme weather. I worried about my family in Michigan and Montana. Not to mention thinking about the homeless and pets who have nowhere to go. And then I had some work meetings which used up much of my mental and emotional energy. The outcome for all meetings was positive, but there was a big mental drain that gave me the weirdest headache right in the middle at the top of my head.

During one of my meetings, we discussed how when individuals act out, or employ different tactics that could be seen as “manipulative”, that there is a NEED that is not being met. And the individual is using the tools and techniques that they know work to get their needs met. The thing that struck me about that conversation was the reminder about viewing some behaviors as a symptom of an emotional need not being met. Which brought home a favorite quote from the author and psychologist Susan David, “Emotions are data, not directives.” Our emotions inform us of our needs, they do not direct our actions.

I ate my lunch before 1pm, but at 3pm I was starting to graze on the chocolates left in the Valentine’s box, and some fruit and Greek yogurt. When I took a bite out of the 3rd chocolate, I realized I was starting to mindlessly snack. So I paused to do a check-in. I was not hungry, but my head hurt with that weird headache and I was TIRED! Mentally and physically tired.

I did a quick inner assessment and figured out that my emotional, mental and physical tiredness and the weird headache came from worrying about the extreme cold and it’s effect on my loved ones, and the tiredness from my meetings. So I was deliberate in thinking to myself “What do I need?” What need is not being met that I am trying to meet with snacking?” Reminded myself that my emotions are clues as to what is going on with me, not internal physiological orders or directives to snack.

I came to the conclusion that I needed rest. Not necessarily sleep, but I needed to give myself a few moments to let go of draining thoughts and allow my brain to just rest. I tried to convince myself to do a short yoga video, but I truly felt too tired to do so. Since my work day was done, I went to lay down for a bit. I gave myself permission to lay down and read or just lay down with my eyes closed for a short time to recharge. The takeaway here for me was figuring out what I needed and figuring how best to meet that need with the resources available to me. I am noting my emotions and train of thought and my decision making, and starting to see where my go-to coping mechanism for a long time has been to stay busy, to keep doing things, to keep powering through, so I don’t have to think about how I feel. And that has contributed to where I find myself now with my physical and mental health.

What needs do I have that are not being met that I think can be met with food? That’s my new self check-in question. Self-discovery things like this make me happy to be a social worker for the self-help purposes. 😁