I have osteoarthritis in both hips. I am only 46 years old and I am looking at total hip replacement surgery sometime down the line. It’s hard for me to run because of the ensuing joint pain and I’m losing range of motion in my right hip. It’s painful to tie my shoes or tape up my moccasins when I dance. I can’t dance the way I used to even 2 years ago….I have to modify several of my steps or just not do them.

I am getting a good lesson in dealing with a chronic condition….like diabetes or lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. It’s hard. It’s hard to get motivated to find what works to manage the pain. It’s hard and very emotional when I look at what may be down the line for me…it’s hard when I think about losing the things that have been such a big part of me for so long. Like running and shawl dancing. I have a lot of ups and downs and it’s hard to tell anyone about it because I don’t want to drag anyone down, and I don’t feel very many understand. I just recently went through a very difficult and emotional time, one of several that I’ve experienced in the last 20 months.

But this week I have felt awesome. Really really good. I feel like I have found and gotten a good grip on that thing that health educators talk about all the time…”motivation”.  Defined as “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.” In order to make positive change, we must be motivated to do so. I remember working a social work job and one of the social work specialists said, “They don’t train us in this job how to motivate people to change.” Which is true. While psychologists or public health workers can be trained in motivational interviewing (a technique used to evaluate the level of a person’s willingness to change and help push them forward), most people in the helping professions are at a loss as to how to motivate people.

There are 2 types of motivation: “Intrinsic” and “Extrinsic”. Extrinsic motivation is where your motivation comes from an external source….like getting good grades because your parents offer to pay you for every A on your report card, or buying you something if you make the Dean’s List. There are endless examples of extrinsic motivation….but this type of motivation is short-lived. It may last until the reward has been earned and then it’s gone. It may disappear before the reward is earned if the reward seems too far away or unattainable. Point is, It doesn’t last long. Intrinsic motivation, is the internal desire to change….it can be based on some type of perceived reward or fear that hits close to home. My best example of that is when a grandparent makes long-term changes to their health regimen in order to be able to see their grandchildren grow up. Or a person decides to lose weight or exercise more, not because they want to improve their appearance alone, but because they want to FEEL better both physically and emotionally.

My motivation has had some severe ups and downs since my diagnosis. I believe I’ve had a string of short-term motivated times because my motivation has been extrinsic…I’ve been motivated to do my PT exercises until I felt it wasn’t really helping the pain or help me get back to running. I’ve been motivated to just keep doing what I’ve been doing, kind of like rebelling against my OA, only to be struck down by debilitating joint pain. I’ve been motivated to try all different kinds of supplements until I overdid my activity and felt miserable because of the pain.

These days I feel very motivated. And I believe the positive vibe I have going is because I’m finally sorting out everything I have tried before, which includes changes in diet, supplements, hot yoga, biking, reaching out to friends and family, and changing my way of thinking of my dance career. A few weeks ago I was looking at the near-end of my shawl dance career….I thought that I could last another year or two at the most and then I would be done. And when that sunk in, I grieved….like I was losing a life-friend. Thankfully my friends, my companion, and my family pulled me out of that pit of despair. I have a sense of hope now….which feels brand new to me. And I have a deep-seated confidence, which is also new, that I will achieve my wellness goals that I have altered in a positive and realistic way. Both of those feelings, the hope and the confidence, have boosted my motivation.

My motivation comes now from knowing that I can manage my OA pain. It’s not hopeless. A good quality of life is not out of my reach.  I’ve had several weeks of pain-free joints and I’m confident that what I’m doing is working and that I can continue. I KNOW what works now. Limiting carbohydrates in my diet, taking some supplements that are working, including Xyngular’s Global Blend, alfalfa, Omega-3, a B-complex, and drinking my turmeric tea. Drinking alot of water. Eating alot of nutrient rich vegetables. Avoiding commercially raised feed-lot red meat and switching to grass-fed beef. I love the elliptical machine…it feels like I’m running without the joint pain. Stretching, I am learning to love and get better at. And getting my rest. My motivation increases each day that I wake and can walk with little to no pain. And my shawl dancing….we’ll see how that goes. But I’m hopeful. I’m focused and grateful for what my body can do….instead of obsessing about what it can’t do. I’m looking at all I have to gain with maintaining these positive changes, instead of thinking about what I am losing. When I make food choices in a restaurant I think about what will help me the most, and that means selecting salmon and spinach and broccoli and giving away my bread and NOT ordering dessert. I don’t think about HAVING to give up a French Dip sandwich or a slice of lemon meringue pie, I think about all the good things the salmon and the Omega-3 and all those green veggies will do for my body and my joints. So my motivation comes from a place of positive thinking, encouragement, helping and healing my body. Because I want to feel better. I love how I feel when I do these things. The changes make my bad days not so bad and make the good days that much better. I’m making myself better, which will make me better for all those around me.

I really want to publicly thank my husband Joe B…who has had to put up with my mood swings but he never gives in to my negative thinking. And I want to thank my sister Sharon who is my biggest cheerleader and always finding new things for me to try. My sister Sandy, who with my sister Sharon, always keeps it real with me, and my BFF, my Maske, Erica….my example of perseverance through tough times. My brother Elwood because he has no idea of how special he is to me. Special acknowledgement and thanks to Mike LaFrombois and Kevin Tacan….the male version of “maske” for me. They both have such positive outlooks even with all they deal with, and lend me their good vibes all the time. They are excellent listeners, and Kevin recommended the alfalfa supplements. These people help hold me up even if they don’t realize it, and I’m eternally grateful. Wopida tanka to each of you, and to the others I didn’t mention (you know who you are) who have helped me in any way.