I’ve been feeling my grief and depression for 3 weeks. It’s been hard to cook, hard to feel like exercising, hard to do the work on my emotional eating…everything seems to take more energy than I have. And my therapist brought to my attention that Wednesday was the 17th…it’s been 6 months since my mom passed. And next Friday is my first birthday without her.

So I just gave myself a break in order to function at home, with my family, and my job. Just let myself feel and be. I didn’t beat myself up for not managing my eating or getting out to walk….I knew I was doing good just to get out of bed and function at work. Then the time change threw me for a loop. This week has been physically exhausting. Our meals have been an assortment of comfort foods, take-out and frozen meals lately. Thank goodness my family is understanding and they help out wherever they can.

Yesterday I read a 12-part thread on the Humans of New York page about a woman who used food to heal her daughters’ medical issues. Reading about all the adversity they experienced in their move to the US and opening a diner, and how it has tested and strengthened their faith…it gave me a lift.

Today I felt like cooking, and also felt like cooking with colorful ingredients. As I chopped up the red bell pepper and put it in a bowl with broccoli and chopped onion, I realized it’s been a minute since I cooked with lots of veggies.

I’m an emotional eater, and it gets the best of me. So I return again to what I know and what I can live with…cook with and eat nutrient dense food…drink water…take my supplements and get back on my probiotic…eat fruit when I have a sugar craving…cook with and eat real food.

I saw this recipe for a savory salmon and veggie frittata and tried it out. Also felt like eating the kale, Brussels sprouts and cranberry salad we make around the holidays, but I forgot to get the sprouts. So it’s a kale, cranberry, pecan, and apple salad and I made a lemon vinaigrette.

This is really good. Here’s to getting back on the wagon. I think as long as I keep getting back on, it doesn’t matter how many times I fall off.