Monthly Archives: May 2017

Post-Powwow Report

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This past weekend I danced at Haskell’s Commencement Powwow. I went H.A.M. and danced in every dance special plus my regular contest. In total, I danced in 2 Jingle dress specials, a women’s all-around, and then my regular contest was Northern Cloth. 

The Jingle dress portion of the all-around was Friday night. I haven’t danced Jingle since before my surgery. I danced in one of the jingle dress specials before the Jingle portion of the all-around, and I felt sooooo rusty. My hair tie kept slapping my hand and distracting me, my dress felt too tight (my BFF made it for me when my weight was down), and I overstepped on the very 1st song with a big loud crash…there’s a lot of cones on that dress. 😂 Couldn’t even play it off, I just slunk off to the side. #shame #nobrakes

By the time I danced in the all around, I felt much better and more like myself. Joints felt good, muscles felt weak. No cramps or joint pain after. #winning

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(*sorry for posting 2 videos, I couldn’t figure out how to delete one using this phone app)

The fancy shawl part of the all-around was next. I gotta say, I felt like the old me, my former self, dancing fancy shawl in grand entry. Then we got 2 straight songs and I was able to hang. Since I truly didn’t prepare or train to dance in an all-around, I seriously wondered if I would get so tired that I might be barely moving out there. I worried about feeling any twinges in my new/artificial hip joint. That didn’t happen, thank goodness. The new joint felt great! I did notice right away that I had to modify one of my favorite spins when I turned to the right. My right hip just didn’t want to move the way the spin goes. But that’s to be expected, and I made the adjustment without a problem. I just need to get used to do somethings a little differently. The joints felt great, and it felt amazing to dance fancy shawl again like I used to. It did however, bring into glaring focus how far I need to go to get back into shawl dancing physical condition.  I need to increase my leg strength and speed. I had my own little cheering section on one side of the arena, and that encouragement helped a whole bunch!! No video though (boo). Maybe that’s a good thing. I sure felt like I was flying around out there but I will bet it looked much more closer to the ground on video. Lol. 


So for all 3 sessions, I danced a total of 11 contest songs. No cramps Saturday night, no joint pain, just many MANY sore muscles. I got a consolation in the all-around and 2nd in my regular contest, even with missing Friday’s grand entry points (I was late because I was cooking chili for our company and us to eat after the powwow). No ragrets on missing the GE. I am happy when I can cook and feed people. Placing anywhere in the contest was a bonus. 

Our eating wasn’t too bad as far as a powwow weekend goes. I indulged in kettle corn and a few M&M cookies from HyVee. But overall, the eating was much healthier than our usual powwow weekends because I cooked and had fruit and veggies with our supper break sandwiches. 

I didn’t get much sleep so I am recovering from that. It seems to take about a week to feel fully rested after a powwow weekend…because we’re getting old. Lol. 

Because I am sleep deprived and the muscle soreness lingers, I am struggling to get back on this week. And it’s been rainy so my joints ache a bit. However, I did get some serious motivation to train and eat healthy from the weekend. I also got some insight into how I have to be more patient with this return to shawl dancing plan. I need to get stronger to support my joints better and to drop some weight to decrease the impact on said joints. 

Back to logging the food tomorrow and the daily walk/run with Mickey. 😊 #noexcuses

Restaurants, Cookies and Ticks – Day 3

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Eating out is a wonderful excuse for me to throw myself off the wellness wagon. The rationale is always “well, I don’t eat out much so I’m going to just order what I really want.” Today that didn’t happen (yay!). I met my sister, 2 of my sister-in-laws and husband-in-law, for lunch and I made a very healthy choice (tri-athlete omelet from First Watch). It does help greatly to go out to eat with like-minded, health-conscious people. (Tip: always order first…and order healthy. The person who orders first sets the tone for the whole group’s food choices). If no one is ordering junk then you don’t feel like you’re missing out. 

Day 3 brought better time management and food prep. When I got home from work I got my daughters and our dog Mickey out for a nice long walk. I worried it was going to rain and we had an orchestra concert to go to this evening. I’m glad I got our exercise in and we ended up walking over 3 miles. Mickey sure loves our walks and we had a pretty view today. What I didn’t love was pulling a tick off his neck this evening. Yuck. My poor Mickey. I checked him all over for ticks and he looked kinda sad at the thought of having more on him. Lol. Now I’m going to go to bed wondering if I have any on me….

Then the orchestra concert was the last one of the school year and we were asked to bring cookies for a reception following the concert. Hy-Vee has thee best chocolate chip cookies and M&M cookies. I ate one M&M cookie and thought I was good. Then my husband very thoughtfully brought me a cup of coffee and another cookie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Usually eating one cookie sets me off and I’ll eat 4 or 5. Not today, you tempting cookies…not today. I was good at 2 and logged them (the bar code to give nutrition info WORKED on the box!). 

I had enough leftover chicken to make another delicious spinach, fruit and chicken salad. So even though I went over my carb count, I ate several servings of fruit and veggies and I stayed within my calorie goal for the day. #winning 

I’m calling today a success because it was fraught with peril. Lol. Seriously…there were so many points during the day where I would have willingly thrown myself off the wagon. But I didn’t. I think that having it on my mind that I’m going to report on my day here in this blog helps as well. Accountability. Better find you some. It helps. 

#NoExcuses 

Day 2 (of No Excuses)

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Day 2: Coulda been better…coulda been worse. 

I found myself extra busy and stressed around the time that is supposed to be when I can eat lunch. Nothing major, just had a lot of things that needed to get done. So I found myself munching on some tortilla chips after eating my protein bar because my bag of raw veggies was not close by. Then the pint of blackberries I had packed weren’t very good….like they were overripe or something. I ate 2 of them and no more. 

After work wasn’t any less busy. I had to pick up my daughter, take her to buy a shirt for her orchestra concert tomorrow, drop her off at home, go get my hair cut, change clothes and go coach 2 youth softball practices back-to-back. 

The not-so-good stuff today: I didn’t eat as many veggies or fruit as I had planned, and I ate about 2-3 servings of tortilla chips. I felt like eating a big bowl of popcorn when I got home from practices. And I got home too late to get my 3 miles in with Mickey. 

The awesome, no-excuses stuff today: I did not let my slight chip-binge derail the rest of the day, as I usually tend to do. So I didn’t cave to homemade popcorn and laying on the couch. When I looked at my food log, I ended up eating a total of 6 carb servings today, which is not bad at all! And when I got home from practice I took Mickey for a short walk. Something is better than nothing. 

So here is me and Mickey…my legs are very sore and all dusty from practice, and Mickey had an adventurous day going to the vet. We are tired. But we made it through Day 2 with NO EXCUSES!!

  

Day 1

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This morning I overslept (too much Mother’s Day celebrating), and almost made an excuse to postpone Day 1 until Tuesday. However, I persevered and accomplished what I wanted to do for my 1st day with no excuses. I made my smoothie for breakfast, lunch was a hodgepodge of raw non-starchy veggies, a protein bar, water, and half a cup of raspberries. I made myself a taco salad after work, with no tortilla chips (we didn’t have any in the house or I might have gone off).

I treated myself at dinner and made this beautiful chicken, romaine, spinach, strawberry, grape, and candied pecan salad with balsamic vinaigrette. I’ve determined that I’m a binge vegetable eater. Sometimes they sound and taste so good that I eat several servings of them every day. Other days I can’t even look at them. 😑

After I ate I sat on the couch relaxing with my big puppy and we both almost fell asleep. I managed to get us up and out for our walk. 3 miles, with some easy jogging here and there. 

I drank 10 glasses of water today. I stayed within my carb-counting limit…1 carb serving for breakfast, lunch, snack, and 2 carb servings for dinner. I have plenty of calories left for a slice of peanut butter toast and a cup of a hot almond milk drink that I make with cinnamon, turmeric, ginger, vanilla, and Stevia. That should send me right off to sleep. 

I did it. I made it through today with no excuses. Lol. Day 1 DONE!! #noexcuses #day1 #fitmom #letsdoodistomorrow 

No More Excuses

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I’ll be honest. I am an awesome, one of the best really, “excuse-makers”.

I can find a reason (read: excuse) for anything. I believe I honed this skill in my early college years where I earned a plethora of “W” (withdraw) and “I” (Incomplete) grades that still show on all my transcripts. I’ve used this skill to account for slacking on schoolwork, graduate papers, studying, housework, balancing my checkbook, sewing, beading, doctor’s visits (such as my annual mammogram), eating healthy, and working out. I’ve gotten by because I can usually pull something together at the last minute. I know my life is much simpler when I force myself out of my excuse-making tendencies, but that doesn’t keep me from making excuses consistently in order to enable my mindset. 🙂

This is a wellness blog. Yet my blogging is sporadic because I’ve come up with some of the best excuses for either not blogging consistently, or not practicing wellness habits consistently. Some of them were very valid at the time….I’ve had good honest reasons why I’ve fallen off the wellness wagon time and time again. But once those reasons or issues have been addressed and I still am not back on the wagon again…then they become an excuse.

So…in an effort to be brutally honest with myself….here are my best “reasons” for the past few years for not feeling like I was capable of practicing healthy habits. 2012 I remember as my last best year for wellness….I was running 5K races consistently and I felt great about myself. So let’s start there.

  1. Hip Osteoarthritis – this was a biggie. The OA diagnosis and the inevitable total hip replacement was huge. Mentally and emotionally it was tough…having to face the prospect on never shawl dancing again or running again. Then the actual hip pain made it hard to workout, and even harder to want to work out.
  2. Depression – this stemmed from the OA diagnosis, the unknown of total hip replacement surgery, not finding a good coping mechanism besides running, surgery recovery, marital issues, a pre-diabetes diagnosis, and job dissatisfaction. I often felt alone and lonely in my depression, which made motivation scarce and just about non-existent.
  3. Career Change – I wanted to get out of community health administration, and out of the 100 mile round-trip daily commute, and go back into clinical social work at a local agency. I needed to job search, study for my licensure exam, and get out of my comfort zone to follow my passion. That was all extremely stressful and daunting and I didn’t know if I could do it.

Those are the major ones. Every single one of them I allowed to take precious time away from me and what I wanted to do take care of me and my family. I was able to find a million excuses for not treating my body and my spirit well out of all of those 3 big categories. All 3 categories all fed off each other as well and just made things seem bigger and bigger and bigger, until I was overwhelmed on the regular.

So here is where I’m at now and where the excuses end.

  1. Hip OA – I’ve had one hip replaced and know exactly what to expect with my 2nd surgery. My recover was, upon reflection, fairly easy due to my age and my physical strength prior to surgery. My right hip has no more pain and normal range of motion. I got clearance to begin training to shawl dance last June, and I actually danced in a fancy shawl special at KU powwow last month. My left hip is still bad but I know with weight loss and supplements, and possibly a cortisone shot, I can put off surgery for another year or so. My arches hurt from the excess weight, but I have good shoes with arch supports for work and working out.
  2. Depression – I’ve been managing the symptoms with anti-depressant meds. I feel much more positive and self-sufficient than last year at this time. I am getting ready to start tapering off my meds now that things that overwhelmed me have settled down. We got a dog and he is the best thing for mental health. He is awesome and brings so much joy to us. My marriage is much better due to praying together daily. I am finding walking very enjoyable, especially with my big puppy. My sleep has improved and I don’t feel the food cravings often associated with a depressed mood. I went on a social media fast and that was an eye-opener…how the negativity on social media can permeate your brain and your mood. My now-elevated mood helps me feel motivated. I downloaded “The Secret Daily Teachings” app on my phone and it always has good positive words that I read every morning.
  3. Career Change – I successfully passed my master social worker licensure exam. I found an awesome job as a therapist at a local community mental health center. I work in a middle school so I work school hours. My job is 3.5 miles from my home. I love this work…the kids are awesome and so are the staff here. I worked through any internal difficulties I was having at my old job and I was able to leave on good terms….which felt amazing.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and my husband and kids gave me gifts all designed to get me healthy and strong again….new runners, new running tops, phone armband. I can’t use time as an excuse because I am home shortly after my kids get home. So I have time to cook earlier, time to get housework done, and time to walk or do something with my kids. I truly have no more excuses. I’m sure I can find some, since I’ve gotten so good at it over the years. I need to use my powers for good and not idleness. Lol. I should turn it around and make excuses TO BE HEALTHY for once.


So TODAY is the day of “No More Excuses”. It’s Day 1. I got my baseline info for Day 1 in the form of weighing myself and taking a picture. 🙂 I overslept this morning and ALMOST caved and said “Day 1 can start tomorrow.” Hahahaha. But I didn’t. That’s a good sign. See, I could have easily used that as an excuse to delay Day 1 but I did not.

I made myself take a few minutes for breakfast instead of running out the door since I was running late. My vanilla strawberry smoothie with cashew milk, vanilla Weight Watchers smoothie mix and 1 cup of fresh strawberries was only 1 carbohydrate serving.  My plan today is either to walk Mickey or ride the new bike my dad got me for my birthday (lack of a bike was a prior excuse to not exercise when my joints were hurting). I have a place to workout at the Sports Pavilion if the weather is bad. They have a nice indoor track and good cardio equipment.

I need to make myself accountable, so I will do my best to jot something here each day. I want to document this new journey. This is more for me than for you, but if you get something positive out of it as well, then that’s a bonus.

Here we go. Day 1. I’ll write later how it goes. #Letsdoodis

 

Wonderful Updates

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I did it! I passed my Master’s level social work licensure exam! I am 13 years out of my MSW coursework, worked in Community Health for all those years, and I was able to pass the test! I had much help and support in this…current graduates shared their study materials and my family and extended family went above and beyond in support and encouragement. I received my notice from the State on Tuesday that I was approved for licensure, so I submitted my license request and paid my fee. So as of Tuesday, May 2, I am a LMSW. 😃

Aaaaand….I made the leap and resigned from my job of 7 years as the Assistant Director of Administrative Affairs at a research-based Community Health center. And I accepted a position as a therapist at a local community mental health center! I did all my credentialing paperwork based on my temporary license, and now I have a permanent license. I have been working as a therapist since April 3. My new job is 3.5 miles from my house and it takes me exactly 7 minutes and 55 seconds to get to work. And I have an office! I lived the cubicle life for 7 years and now I actually have walls, a door, and my own thermostat. My job offers free LSCSW supervision, and opportunities for free CEUs. I absolutely love my job and the kids I work with. I love the hours, and I’ve been given good training and strong support from my supervisors. 

The time I have now with my family is priceless. There is so much less stress than with my former job, where the primary stressors were the 100-mile round trip commute, and my time away from home because I wouldn’t arrive back from work until 6:00 or 6:30pm. I get home before 3:30pm now. I am continually amazed and grateful because often when I am doing something with my Swirlies I’ll look at the clock and tell them “I am so happy! With my other job I would still be at work and here we are….doing fun stuff.” I have time and energy to cook, we have been eating our dinners earlier and we have more time in our evenings for homework, walks, relaxing, crafting, etc. 

I also feel very passionate about the work I am doing. I work with middle school kids and they are as awesome as they are challenging. My work feels purposeful again. I am happy to drive to work to see what the day brings. And I work with an awesome team of mental health professionals. My team leader strongly encourages self-care and her and my immediate supervisor often check-in with us to make sure we are not neglecting ourselves. That we cannot help people to the best of our ability unless we are healthy in all the areas of wellness. 

I put so much of my life on-hold while I was going through all this transition and working toward my career goals. Now I feel it’s time to get back to being me again. It’s time to get back to doing the things I love to do. It’s time to start riding the new bike my dad gave me for my birthday. It’s time to finish my dentalium cape. It’s time to train in earnest to get back to shawl dancing. It’s time to drag my daughters and husband along with me on my road to wellness. Its time to start running with my big puppy on some trails. It’s time to take the time to do nothing and just sit and enjoy….I envision something like drinking coffee on my deck in the morning to start my day. 

One of the most memorable moments of this whole process was when my daughters would give me neck and back massages after I got done studying. And when my 10-year old inquired as to what I would be doing at my new job. After I explained to her, she asked me, “So you are going to listen to people and try to help them? I think this will be a good job for you because you are so good at that.” 

Sometimes I just come home from work and I just sit here and let all the gratitude wash over me. Everything up to this point has been a huge leap of faith. And it’s a leap in the direction of getting back to myself again.