Tag Archives: American Indian

Restaurants, Cookies and Ticks – Day 3

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Eating out is a wonderful excuse for me to throw myself off the wellness wagon. The rationale is always “well, I don’t eat out much so I’m going to just order what I really want.” Today that didn’t happen (yay!). I met my sister, 2 of my sister-in-laws and husband-in-law, for lunch and I made a very healthy choice (tri-athlete omelet from First Watch). It does help greatly to go out to eat with like-minded, health-conscious people. (Tip: always order first…and order healthy. The person who orders first sets the tone for the whole group’s food choices). If no one is ordering junk then you don’t feel like you’re missing out. 

Day 3 brought better time management and food prep. When I got home from work I got my daughters and our dog Mickey out for a nice long walk. I worried it was going to rain and we had an orchestra concert to go to this evening. I’m glad I got our exercise in and we ended up walking over 3 miles. Mickey sure loves our walks and we had a pretty view today. What I didn’t love was pulling a tick off his neck this evening. Yuck. My poor Mickey. I checked him all over for ticks and he looked kinda sad at the thought of having more on him. Lol. Now I’m going to go to bed wondering if I have any on me….

Then the orchestra concert was the last one of the school year and we were asked to bring cookies for a reception following the concert. Hy-Vee has thee best chocolate chip cookies and M&M cookies. I ate one M&M cookie and thought I was good. Then my husband very thoughtfully brought me a cup of coffee and another cookie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Usually eating one cookie sets me off and I’ll eat 4 or 5. Not today, you tempting cookies…not today. I was good at 2 and logged them (the bar code to give nutrition info WORKED on the box!). 

I had enough leftover chicken to make another delicious spinach, fruit and chicken salad. So even though I went over my carb count, I ate several servings of fruit and veggies and I stayed within my calorie goal for the day. #winning 

I’m calling today a success because it was fraught with peril. Lol. Seriously…there were so many points during the day where I would have willingly thrown myself off the wagon. But I didn’t. I think that having it on my mind that I’m going to report on my day here in this blog helps as well. Accountability. Better find you some. It helps. 

#NoExcuses 

Day 2 (of No Excuses)

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Day 2: Coulda been better…coulda been worse. 

I found myself extra busy and stressed around the time that is supposed to be when I can eat lunch. Nothing major, just had a lot of things that needed to get done. So I found myself munching on some tortilla chips after eating my protein bar because my bag of raw veggies was not close by. Then the pint of blackberries I had packed weren’t very good….like they were overripe or something. I ate 2 of them and no more. 

After work wasn’t any less busy. I had to pick up my daughter, take her to buy a shirt for her orchestra concert tomorrow, drop her off at home, go get my hair cut, change clothes and go coach 2 youth softball practices back-to-back. 

The not-so-good stuff today: I didn’t eat as many veggies or fruit as I had planned, and I ate about 2-3 servings of tortilla chips. I felt like eating a big bowl of popcorn when I got home from practices. And I got home too late to get my 3 miles in with Mickey. 

The awesome, no-excuses stuff today: I did not let my slight chip-binge derail the rest of the day, as I usually tend to do. So I didn’t cave to homemade popcorn and laying on the couch. When I looked at my food log, I ended up eating a total of 6 carb servings today, which is not bad at all! And when I got home from practice I took Mickey for a short walk. Something is better than nothing. 

So here is me and Mickey…my legs are very sore and all dusty from practice, and Mickey had an adventurous day going to the vet. We are tired. But we made it through Day 2 with NO EXCUSES!!

  

Day 1

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This morning I overslept (too much Mother’s Day celebrating), and almost made an excuse to postpone Day 1 until Tuesday. However, I persevered and accomplished what I wanted to do for my 1st day with no excuses. I made my smoothie for breakfast, lunch was a hodgepodge of raw non-starchy veggies, a protein bar, water, and half a cup of raspberries. I made myself a taco salad after work, with no tortilla chips (we didn’t have any in the house or I might have gone off).

I treated myself at dinner and made this beautiful chicken, romaine, spinach, strawberry, grape, and candied pecan salad with balsamic vinaigrette. I’ve determined that I’m a binge vegetable eater. Sometimes they sound and taste so good that I eat several servings of them every day. Other days I can’t even look at them. 😑

After I ate I sat on the couch relaxing with my big puppy and we both almost fell asleep. I managed to get us up and out for our walk. 3 miles, with some easy jogging here and there. 

I drank 10 glasses of water today. I stayed within my carb-counting limit…1 carb serving for breakfast, lunch, snack, and 2 carb servings for dinner. I have plenty of calories left for a slice of peanut butter toast and a cup of a hot almond milk drink that I make with cinnamon, turmeric, ginger, vanilla, and Stevia. That should send me right off to sleep. 

I did it. I made it through today with no excuses. Lol. Day 1 DONE!! #noexcuses #day1 #fitmom #letsdoodistomorrow 

Social Media-less

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I’m sitting here at 6:23am drinking coffee with my cute big puppy snoozing at my side. No TV, no laptop, and no phone apps, save this app that I am writing this blog entry from.

I am finally taking the plunge and going for my social work licensure. I graduated with my MSW almost 13 years ago and never sat for the LMSW exam. I had big plans to sit for it immediately following graduation, but instead my daughter was born 5 days after I graduated. I just never seemed to find a way to carve out time to study. And to be honest, it wasn’t a priority. My priority was my daughter and figuring out how to return to work when I just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Lol.

Fast-forward 13 years: I submitted my application and all my fees in January. My application was approved and I now have a temporary license to practice. The only things left to do are to prepare and to schedule my test date. I am feeling very good about my motivation and my progress. This has long been a goal of mine, with my long-term goal being earning my upper-level licensure, the LSCSW (Licensed Specialist Clinical Social Worker).

I have several things motivating me to take these next steps. I was an Indian Health Services Health Professions Scholarship recipient for the last year of my MSW, so I owe a service obligation of 2 years. I am not eligible to do my service obligation, my “pay-back”, until I earn my LSCSW. In addition, my first social work area of interest was always clinical work. I am excited at the chance to do clinical work, to do what I’ve always wanted to do…to do the work I went to graduate school for.

In order to help myself prepare and properly motivate myself to study, I deactivated my FaceBook and my Twitter accounts. I’ve been without social media for over a week now. Going without my daily routine of scroll, like, share, comment, post, has actually been quite wonderful.

I’m finding the benefits of being social media-less go far beyond having less distraction in order to study. My days feel more full of meaningful stuff. I feel more connected to everyone and everything. My husband says I’m more active, I’m up and around doing things instead of veg’d out on the couch with my phone in my face. My sleep has improved. I’ve always enjoyed my time with my children, but it feels different. I feel more “present”. And not having the distraction of daily screen time has been quite motivating. I’m on a decluttering mission in my house. I’ve actually worked in my yard and refurbished my patio furniture. My little family had a spontaneous cookout over our fire pit last weekend. No one was looking at our phones and it was so much fun. My family doesn’t have to compete with my phone for my attention. My mornings are off to a better start and my evenings are much more relaxing. Which makes the vibe in my home better for everyone.

I am truly enjoying being without social media. Not sure how my blog will fare without the visibility of the Book of Faces or Twitter. But I basically write for me. Lol. So hopefully I will find myself with more time to write along with the other stuff I am making time for on my social media fast.

Time to Get Real Again…

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I never want this blog to become a “tell-all”…meaning where I pour my heart out like my blog is a diary. Yet I want to be a “truth-teller” like my new favorite author Glennon Doyle Melton as well. I don’t think I am as brave as her, so I have to find a happy medium…a balance of using my voice and sharing my experiences in hopes of helping someone else, sharing wellness information in a way that is engaging, all with the goal of “wellness” for myself and family clearly in sight.

I attended a powwow in Milwaukee, WI this past weekend and I felt very humbled when dancers and singers approached me saying they enjoyed reading my blog, or asking me how my blog is going. I was honest with one friend and told her that my blog has been hit or miss…it’s been difficult to write because of something that’s going on that I’m finding difficult to share. I decided I needed to be myself, make it real on here, in hopes that it will help someone down the road.

I have a history of depression. My history was a big part of the reason I studied psychology and social work when working on my degrees. I wanted to understand it and be able to help not only myself, but others, because depression sucks big time.

In addition to fact that depression sucks, it also has a stigma about it. I’ve learned that depression is not the result of being weak, or that I can’t handle business. It’s a result of chronic stress (physical or emotional) that can cause an imbalance of the chemicals in your brain responsible for that sense of well-being, or having what you might consider a “normal” mood or temperament. Those chemicals are called neurotransmitters. Your body likes to maintain things…keep the inner workings on an even keel (i.e. your blood pressure, blood glucose, body temp, etc.) and this phenomena is called “homeostasis”. Your body likes to be in balance and it will work to keep your systems and the chemicals that make up your systems within a certain range. Same with the chemicals called neurotransmitters. There is one called seratonin which helps regulate your mood. If these levels are too high or too low, your mood and behavior can be affected. Your body will work to keep these within a range it likes, but chronic stress, illness and other factors can cause the seratonin levels to become lower, or “depressed”. Under healthy circumstances your body may be able to bring these levels up on its own. Or you can do things that will temporarily elevate seratonin levels, such as exercise, eating nutrient dense foods, getting enough sleep, and getting sunlight to produce Vitamin D, to give your body help in raising those levels. And sometimes the seratonin levels stay depressed for so long that your body can’t bring them back up within the appropriate range on its own and it needs a medication called a SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor).

People experience and exhibit depression symptoms in many ways. Depression can either make them anxious and sleepless, or make them fatigued and sleeping all the time. It can affect your appetite…some people overeat, some lose their appetite. Some people feel like crying, some people get angry or even apathetic. Some people experience muscle tension and headaches, or aches in other parts of their body. There is no predicting where in your body the stress of depression will manifest itself. There are a variety of ways depression presents itself. And a variety of ranges. Most people think that clinical depression means you can’t get out of bed, you can’t stop crying, etc. But there is a form of depression called “dysthymia” which would be considered a low-grade depression. You are fully functioning, get out of bed every single day, hold a job, etc., but you feel like shit each and every day with no end in sight. You don’t LOOK depressed (whatever that means) and you don’t exhibit the stereotypical depressive behaviors. And then there is major depression which feels like you’ve hit rock bottom. Suicidal thoughts/ideation can occur in this condition, which is why it’s so important to let someone know and to seek help.

For me, when I was younger and going through my first bout of depression, my appetite changed where I ate junky food and didn’t feel like exercising. I slept all the time. I was moody and just didn’t feel good, felt like crying many times. As I got older and went through a bout of major depression, my symptoms changed quite a bit. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I felt like I couldn’t stop crying. I remember watching the clock in my room at 3:30am, crying, hanging on tight to a pillow and the edges of a blanket, feeling like I wanted to throw up, and just telling myself to hang on for another 5 minutes….just another 5 minutes and I’ll be ok. And I ran every day…I felt like if I didn’t run, I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Where I gained weight in an early bout of depression, I lost weight in that later bout. I didn’t want anyone to know so I just explained the unusual and sudden weight loss with “I got really sick and couldn’t eat.” Which was, in fact, the truth, it was just presented cleverly to hide what type of “sick” I was. Lol. My mom finally took me to the doctor to get help…it’s still a bit of a painful memory….I was helping her make the bed and I don’t remember exactly what I did or said…and she looked so sad and said she wanted me to see her doctor because she didn’t know how to help me. Her doctor did in fact see me and help me. I was prescribed Zoloft and I took it for several months and then I was fine. I still couldn’t sleep on that darn medicine, but at least I didn’t feel like I was losing my mind anymore.

As I have a history of depression, I’ve always tried to be mindful of it, and do what I can to prevent it when I know I am going through a challenging time. I also try not to hesitate to get help because I don’t want to go through major depression again. I always remember when my daughter was a toddler she told me one time, “Oppression hurts….but Cymbalta can help.” Lol (a commercial for a new anti-depressant). Random, I know, but somehow connected to this whole thing. About 5 years ago after I had been at my current job for almost a year, I felt myself start to slide downhill. I had to commute everyday an hour away because I had lost my 2 days of working in town as I was promised when I was first hired. I had to carpool so I had to leave earlier and arrive home later than if I drove myself. I never saw the light of day because the building I was in I never had to leave during the day. I would get home from work between 6:00-6:30pm after it was already dark outside and would get to spend exactly 2.5 hours with my babies before I had to get them to bed. It really sucked. My sleep and appetite were changing and so was my mood so I went in to see my doctor. I thought it was the lack of daylight causing my symptoms and I believed I had seasonal depression. When she told me I had dysthymia and she wanted to put me on an anti-depressant I started laughing. I told her, “Can’t you just give me a lamp (for vitamin D production) or something?” Lol…although she thought that was funny, I was given a medicine called Citalopram that I had to take for several months before tapering off of it, and once again, I became ok.

This last year has been one of the most challenging years I can remember in my relatively short lifetime. Looking back now, I think I started my downhill slide last summer as I worried about my impending surgery. I didn’t really talk to anyone about it, unless I was talking about how I was preparing for it. I didn’t want to worry anyone. And then I watched a video of a hip replacement surgery, and let me tell you don’t ever do that before major surgery. Bad idea. Very very bad. Then there was a series of stressors without much of a break to recover….my marriage hit a very tough time in October of last year, my aunt – my mom’s oldest sister passed away in November, then there was my surgery in December. Then the surgery recovery and the physical therapy in January. My mom had a heart attack in February. My beautiful oldest daughter Samantha went through a huge heartbreaking ordeal in March and she was 5 hours away from us. In April I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. It was one thing after another….with me fighting for my health and what felt like my sanity the entire time, determined to not give in to depression. I had requested something from my doctor early in the year to help with what I thought was just occasional anxiety, so she gave me prescription for Xanax. That helped somewhat…I laughed and told people that I literally had a “chill pill” as it calmed me down when my anxiety made it difficult to focus and work. But in June I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get out of the house to leave for work on a Friday. I sat at my computer trying to do something and couldn’t stop crying. I felt like I had lost my mind. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in months, my appetite was all out of whack, I had started SMOKING, my work was suffering, and my mood was starting to affect my kids. I felt truly broken. Everything I had tried to help myself felt like a complete failure. I felt like I was giving in….saying “uncle”….waving the white flag….when I dialed the phone to call my doctor to tell her I needed help. And I just prayed I could hang in there for the weekend until my appointment. I was diagnosed with major depression once again. I am back on an anti-depressant for 6 months and I see a counselor regularly.

On a lighter note, my meds have helped me immensely. They help to even out the really rough jagged edges. They have given me a better quality of sleep where I actually feel rested when I wake up in the morning. My emotions don’t roller-coaster as much. I can focus better. They at first made me feel kind of “out of it” at first, then I started taking them at night before I go to sleep. However, they make me a little absent-minded, and, according to my husband, they cause me to have no-filter. The most random, oddball stuff has come out of my mouth…ask anyone who knows. It’s mayhem at times, but in an odd, hilarious, good way. My motivation is returning…motivation to be active, to cook, to get things done, and to find coping mechanisms that work for me again without medication. I will be glad when I am well enough to taper off of them, hopefully in December.

Because of all of this, it’s been hard to figure out what to write about this summer…well, actually for the past year – except for my surgery and recovery. On the one hand, I don’t want to be spilling my business out there for everyone to see. I’m not looking for pity or sympathy, and once again there it that stigma of depression I want to not be attached to. But on the other hand, my whole intent with this blog was to share my struggles and my victories in seeking good health, in hopes that it would help me by writing it, and possibly help others by reading it. My state of well-being has a direct impact on those closest to me. My husband has told me in the past that I have to stay strong and stay up for our little family…that if I go down, they’ll all go down with me. That I’m their backbone. And I’m learning that being a strong backbone doesn’t mean I have to do it by myself. It means finding the strength to ask for help. It means that there is no shame in seeking help in the arms and ears of your sisters and best friends…or seeking the help of a counselor…or seeking spiritual help….or seeking the assistance of a temporary medical/pharmaceutical regimen. And I am beginning to believe that it means being strong enough to share your battle story with others without the fear of an outdated stigma surrounding depression.

This is my battle and I’m doing my best in fighting it. I am not ashamed of it, not trying to front. Just trying to deal. And I am taking pride in that.

8-Week Wellness Challenge

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First of all, I want to say right off the bat that I have succeeded at losing 17 lbs since my highest weight post-total hip replacement surgery!! That means I lost the 15 lbs I gained post-surgery, plus an additional 2 lbs. I have 5 more lbs to go to hit my 1st major goal. My youngest told me today, “Mom, you’re getting skinny.” Lol. Even though “skinny” isn’t my goal, regaining my health is, it was still nice to hear that someone noticed some progress.

My eating and workouts kind of went up and down over the summer, as those who powwow understand the disruption of routines, driving for hours, dancing all weekend, not always having access to the healthiest of foods, packing a cooler, etc. The healthy habits could have been better, they could have been much worse. I concentrated this summer on not beating myself up over slip-ups and just trying to get back on as soon as I can.

My sister got me in the habit of walking for 45 minutes every morning at work. When she isn’t at work, she texts me to ask me if I went out for my walk yet. Lol. That got me going on the consistent activity. But today I want to write about a wellness challenge that has really motivated me.

Tracy is a woman I went to graduate school with and we both earned our MSWs at the same time. Our kids go to the same school, have played on the same teams, and she is friends with one of my nieces. She encouraged me after learning about my hip osteoarthritis back in 2012 to take her cycling class (which, by the way, was a killer workout) to give my joints a break from running, and she has conquered her own health challenges and surgeries. She is inspiring.

My sister-in-law invited me to participate in an 8-week wellness challenge that Tracy was organizing. She had participated the 1st time Tracy did the challenge and encouraged me and my sister to join. The details of the challenge and the structure really intrigued me, which are explained below.

For 8-weeks, each person can earn a point per day in the following areas: 1) Journaling/tracking food intake and following a safe, healthy and nutritious eating plan of our choice, 2) drinking half your body weight in ounces of water, 3) exercising (and she leaves it to us to determine what we think is a workout, there is no minimum number of minutes required to earn this point) – and with exercise one can only earn a maximum of 5 points per week to encourage rest days, 4) getting at least 7 hours of sleep per night. We all took a picture of our scale with our starting weight and sent it to Tracy, and at the end of the 8 weeks we will take a picture of our scale with our ending weight. We can earn 1 point for each percentage of total body weight we lose. For example, if someone starts out weighing 200 lbs, they would earn 1 point for every 2 lbs they lost by the end of the challenge. We have sheets were we can record our points daily. One can earn a maximum of 26 points each week, and then additional points at the end with our final weigh-in. The people who did this challenge the first time don’t mess around. The previous winner didn’t miss ANY of their weekly points and lost weight. There is a $25 buy-in which is given to the winners at the end of 8 weeks. And she set up a FaceBook page for the members of the challenge so we always get little reminders, or encouragement, or ideas for meals and snacks.

I am used to keeping a food journal, and when properly motivated I can exercise 5 days per week. I was really intrigued with the sleep requirement. My sleep routine has been non-existent for almost a year and I’ve never given it much deliberate thought. I go to bed early when I am exhausted or I push myself and don’t get rest. There is no consistency.

We just finished up Week 2 of the challenge. I think I’ve missed only 1 sleep point each week so far when my schedule was a little off on that day. I have been tracking my food faithfully and paying attention to my calorie goals. I even track my “free days” or free meals. There is nothing like seeing that you ate a DQ Blizzard, or 4 slices of pizza from Rudy’s to make you more conscious of your food choices. I make my water intake daily. I’ve earned 5 exercise points per week. I started using MapMyWalk and synched it to my MyFitnessPal so it automatically posts my workouts and calorie expenditure to my food log. Although I began the challenge intending to do the Metabolism Miracle, my actual eating has turned into more of a carb counting routine. I keep my breakfasts and lunches to anywhere between 5-15 grams of carbs or less, I eat many vegetables, take my vitamins, and if I feel like eating some popcorn or a small handful of chips, or 2 soft tortillas in the evenings, I do it. I usually keep dinners to 2 carb servings or less. And guess what…..my weight seems to be just dropping off!! I believe it’s because the structure of this challenge encourages several healthy habits, not just food and exercise. I think it’s the sleep requirement that’s made the difference with me as well as being mindful of my carb intake and not restricting myself as much as before. My energy is evening out more each day…I don’t have as many dips and my energy lasts longer. And I feel smaller already.

So if you haven’t guessed it at this point, Tracy is amazing!!! This was so needed at this point and time and I’m having fun AND improving my health. Thank you again for organizing this!!

Back To School Motivation

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My kids start school THIS WEDNESDAY!! Although they love summer vacation, they miss their friends. I miss having a routine. We’re all looking forward to the beginning of the school year.

I felt like I was in a good groove at the beginning of summer, but then I started on a new medication for an old condition and it zapped my energy. Although I didn’t overeat because it killed my appetite, it felt impossible to get a workout in, cook, or do anything productive. Not for lack of food, I just felt lethargic all the time. My motivation to improve my health went in the tank for a little while. Thank goodness again for my support team (family). They helped me along in so many different ways. I’m finally getting used to my meds and figuring out different ways to gain more energy, so my motivation has returned.

My sister got me in the habit of walking with her for 45 minutes (using my work’s wellness leave policy) as soon as we get to work. I really look forward to our walks everyday. It’s a nice way to start the day, visiting and cackling around with my sister, it wakes me up and gives me energy, and I feel really good knowing I’m doing something that is making me stronger everyday and helping me battle pre-diabetes. Research has shown that consistent activity is much more beneficial than intensity. Meaning that a person who walks 45 minutes on most days (5-6 days per week) will have greater health benefits over time than a person who runs 3-5 miles 2-3 times per week. I had developed a habit of bringing my workout clothes to work and then getting busy working and not working out. So getting it done first thing in the morning has been awesome. My sister and kids have been the big motivators for the August powwow dance challenge we signed up for. I don’t feel like doing it half the time, but they bug me and I do it, and then I am glad I did. Lol. I can’t wait for the day I’ll feel better to where I am the big motivator again.

I’ve been cooking at home consistently, so I guess I should give myself props for that. That is actually a good indicator of my motivation returning, that I have the energy and make the time to cook. I’ve tried out a new recipe and it turned out great and is so easy! I’ll share it later in another blog entry. My husband told me that they all missed my cooking so we’re all glad my energy to cook has returned.

And today I started an 8-week wellness challenge organized by a former social work colleague. My sister and I, and my sister-in-law are all doing the challenge. I always think these types of things are fun, beneficial, and we’re competitive so that’s fun as well. We are in it to win it!!! Lol.

I’ve learned that my day, and how I feel, and how productive I am, is all set within the first 5 minutes of waking up. I’m doing gratitude writing exercises on most days, and I give thanks as soon as I wake up for everything. I know that the little things I can do each day are all adding up to better health, improving my physical, spiritual, and mental health. And when I feel healthy in all those areas I can be more of service to others.

August Powwow Dance Challenge

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It’s been a busy and eventful summer. So I’m back with this short blog entry while I’m drafting a longer one.

I’ve been traditional dancing all summer and I’ve really enjoyed it! I didn’t think anything could come close to my love of shawl dancing, but I’ve discovered that as long as I’m in the arena and I can move, it’s a happy place. I’ve also developed a deep respect for traditional dancers because dancing this style is much harder than it looks. There is a whole technique involved that I had to learn, and I’m still learning. And those wool dresses are HOT!!

Although I miss shawl dancing, I am determined to get back to it safely, gradually building my strength and stamina. I will most likely dance traditional all fall, winter and spring (with the occasional participation in jingle dress), as I’ll need to be careful on what surfaces I shawl dance on when I first come back to it. No concrete floors until I the new hip becomes used to the high impact activity again.

With those plans in mind, yesterday evening marked my slow, gradual return to shawl dancing. The Swirlies and I and my sister are participating in Jr. Miss Indian Youth of Lawrence- Evelyn SpottedHorse’s August “Powwow Dance Challenge” where we dance for 30 minutes each day during the month of August. The girls were all excited to start and got me going as soon as I got home from work. We all went into our family room and put my iTunes on a bluetooth speaker and we all just danced. I did a mixture of jingle, traditional and fancy shawl. We all just kept moving for 30 minutes.Got a good little workout in, broke a sweat, and the new hip felt good with all the activity.

Such an awesome idea from this young lady. If you want to get in on the fun and fitness, here is the info to get started. We came in 2 days late due to our travels but we will catch up by this weekend.

My Typical Day Now

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I am trying to practice consistency in all areas of my life…nutrition, physical activity, stress management, time management, studying for my LMSW exam….and my blog. To help facilitate making the blog portion of my daily life more consistent, I’ve created a Facebook page just for my blog. https://www.facebook.com/wozaniwaste/

One of my biggest decisions in the last few weeks was to give up trying to make deadlines for powwows. My friends and family know that I love to sew. It’s a form of stress relief. I sew for my entire family and I take orders for friends and families. Over the years I’ve developed a habit of what I would refer to as “binge sewing”….meaning I get frantic about meeting a deadline and I end up spending all my time trying to get an item done for a specific powwow, either for my family or for an order. Powwow beaders and seamstresses are well acquainted with this. Lol. It is anything but “stress relief”. What occurs in those instances is that my cooking and healthy eating go out the window. My sleep is little to non-existent. I don’t take the time to exercise because I’m too focused on getting something finished. And my time and attention is taken away from my kids and family. I decided two weeks ago that I am no longer going to do it. The cost to my health and my family’s health isn’t worth wearing a new item immediately at a powwow, or even fulfilling an order. I will have to get used to giving a much more generous estimate on completion dates for orders. My family will understand if I don’t get something done. And I can deal with my own impatience of wanting something done right away. At least I think I can…..haha.

I also asked one of my former students, and recent MSW graduate, to be my study partner so I can finally sit for the LMSW test. Leaving myself to my own devices has resulted in no studying getting done. So I reached out and we have made arrangements to meet once per week to study together. I even downloaded an app she sent that sends me one practice exam question everyday. I am proud to say I got my first question right today. Lol.

So….my typical day consists of the following:

I try to get at least 6-7 hours of sleep. When I wake up I drink 2 big cups of water and have my beloved coffee. I just drink it straight up…no creamer or sweetener. I have to take a synthetic thyroid pill every morning on an empty stomach to treat hypothyroidism (was diagnosed in my early 20’s), so I have to wait an hour before I eat anything. My breakfast after the hour is either a smoothie made with unsweetened cashew milk, natural PB, whey protein powder, a handful of spinach and ice cubes, or I poach an egg and eat it on a slice of low-carb toast. Or low-carb toast and PB. It’s rare that I have the time and alertness enough to make a veggie omelet. The Metabolism Miracle book has a good “hot cereal” that I like to make as well on occasion. On days where I am really rushed I just use a shaker cup and throw some cashew or almond milk and a heaping scoop of protein powder and run out the door.

I pack my lunch every day to take to work. My lunch box today consists of leftover steak and pepper stir fry, an Atkins protein shake, celery and natural peanut butter, and a bag of mini sweet peppers. There’s a water cooler at work so I keep a 32 oz water bottle at my desk and I try to drink 2 a day. This sames me money and I’m not tempted my restaurant food that’s not in my eating plan.

I have a membership to the wellness facility at my work. Costs me less than a dollar a day and they have an indoor track, weight machines, free weights, cardio equipment, basketball court, racquetball courts, and a small pool. I pack my workout bag every time I go to work (45-50 min drive from home) even if I don’t use it everyday. When I do use it, I use a combination of the cardio equipment, and yesterday I started in on the weights. I need to use the pool more but it’s a pain washing the chlorine out of my hair and trying to get back to the office within my allotted wellness leave time. If I run out of time to workout at work, I make sure I do something at home. Usually walking in my neighborhood with my girls. I’ve also been trying to do something during commercials if I’m watching TV, like squats or push-ups. Lately I’ve added the stadium steps once per week. That’s a killer so I don’t see myself doing that anymore that once every 7 days anytime soon. I try to do any activity for 45 minutes, the very minimum of 30 minutes per day, 6 days out of the week.

I may have mentioned in a previous blog entry that I have battled depression in the past. It’s something I try to stay on top of because I don’t like taking medication. I mean I will if necessary, I just try to manage things so that it doesn’t get to that point. Exercise can change and lift your mood in as little as a 15 minute walk. So not only is exercise important to my goal of getting rid of pre-diabetes, it is a powerful tool in my efforts to combat depression. I’ve also started a gratitude journal and I have my girls keeping a gratitude journal of their own. Staying optimistic is very important to health. Writing things down and practicing gratitude will change ones outlook for the better. Which is also very important to preventing depression and staying motivated on this health journey.

I try to cook as often as I can. I like to make extra of whatever I cook so we can have leftovers the next day. That saves me at least 3 nights of cooking every week. Lol. Once in awhile I would prep several meals in one afternoon and I haven’t been able to make the time to that in a long time. Something I need to prioritize because it was really nice to have a full meal that I just had to thaw and re-heat on very busy days, or post-powwow travel days.

We are in softball season now, so Joe B and I run practice or coach games 3 nights per week. Time management and prioritizing are essential. It has been testing my resolve from the 1st paragraph daily….do I cook or sew some more shells on the dentalium cape sitting on a table in front of the TV???? Of course I cook. But the answer even one month ago would have been “Are you kidding? SEW SHELLS ON THE CAPE!!!”

The biggest differences for me between now and 2 months ago are the daily activity and keeping my grams of carbohydrates to less than 5 net grams per meal and if I eat a snack before bedtime. And not obsessing over getting sewing done. That’s huge.

I try to patient with myself, reminding myself daily that it’s a journey, not a race. Which is why I don’t step on the scale anymore and just focus on today, and when I need extra motivation, I focus on my next A1c in August. Daily gratitude and daily focus. 🙂

New Health Challenges To Conquer

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I just re-read my last blog entry from April 8, 2016. I have a topic that’s been weighing on my mind since Monday April 25 – which is truly the day I have been referring to as the “first day of the rest of my life”.

Most of the people that are acquainted with me, know that I teach a culturally tailored diabetes class for a college with a student population that is 100% American Indian. I also teach Basic Nutrition. Type 2 Diabetes in American Indian populations has been my area of expertise since 2005. I love it and have a passion for it because of the strong family history of the chronic disease in my family and because I truly believe culturally appropriate education and family-based interventions can make a difference.

I get my blood glucose tested every year, as recommended by Indian Health Service. I know that preventive care is the only way to not get the chronic disease of diabetes. I’ve had a couple of hemoglobin A1c tests done and my results have always been within the normal ranges. I try to eat healthy and exercise has been a regular part of my life for years. Although sweets and homemade popcorn have also been regular parts of my life as well. 😛

So imagine my surprise when on a Sunday at home, April 24, I realized that my feet were tingling. They felt like they were falling asleep. I knew this would happen if I sat in an unpadded chair for too long, but as I was resting on the couch, I thought back to when I felt my feet tingle at other times. And I recalled that they had felt like that for a few days…no matter what I was doing…sitting, standing, laying down. My immediate thought was “diabetic neuropathy” and I wondered when my last fasting plasma glucose test was. So I called my doctor’s office the next day. The receptionist looked in my patient portal and was able to tell me that my last blood glucose test was during my pre-surgery physical at the beginning of December that is was “out of range”. She didn’t tell me how far out of range, she made me wait until my doctor’s nurse called, which wasn’t for another hour. I spent that hour freaking out and working out my anxiety on the recumbent stepper at my work’s rec facility.

When the nurse called she told me that my last fasting plasma glucose was 102 (anything above 100 could be considered the pre-diabetic range, diagnosed with further testing), which she said was a little high but my doctor wasn’t worried about it. I really like my doctor. I think she is amazingly skilled and I trust her completely. I can only assume that she wasn’t concerned because she knew my my lifestyle and felt it was a healthy lifestyle.  I told the nurse that I knew that was in the pre-diabetic range, and with my family history, I was concerned. So my doctor ordered an A1c that afternoon and I headed to the lab as soon as I left work (you don’t have to be fasting to take the A1c, and it measures a person’s average daily blood glucose levels for the past 2-3 months). I prayed my A1c would be below 5.7, which is the normal/healthy range – it means no diabetes or pre-diabetes. I had 5.5 or lower in my mind. I asked the lab tech if I could wait for my results (I know the test takes about 5-8 minutes to run) and she said I could. I waited and prayed for about 10 minutes after the finger stick. Then a nurse holding a baby and piece of paper with my lab results appeared and told me my results. An A1c between 5.7 and 6.4 means you are pre-diabetic. 6.5 and over means you could have Type 2 Diabetes. My A1c score was 6.1….which is right in the middle of the pre-diabetic range. Imagine the irony….the only thought flooding through my mind on the drive home was “The Diabetes Teacher has pre-diabetes.” I laughed to myself but it was a very bitter laugh. I was upset and disappointed in my myself and everything around me.

I came home and told my husband and children. I told my girls that I needed their support in getting my health back on track. I needed them to walk with me or do some type of activity everyday. I needed them to not complain about my meals being “too healthy” and that they needed to eat more vegetables with me. I told them I didn’t want to develop diabetes, but that I was headed in that direction and I needed to make changes NOW. They asked me if I made healthy changes if the pre-diabetes would be gone. I said yes. They were immediately all in. I won’t lie, it was a tearful conversation on my part. Sara just hugged me for a long time while Shelby told me she would walk with me everyday.

Joe B took them out to practice softball to give me more time to calm down. I started researching to find out if stress was the main cause of high blood glucose in otherwise healthy patients (this was me looking for something/someone to blame…lol). And I found some information that surprised the diabetes teacher.

There are 6 factors that can contribute to high blood glucose (high blood sugar). After reading the 6 factors, I realized that I had FIVE of those factors. The 6 factors are as listed, as well as how they fit in my overall health picture.

  1. Hormonal changes, such as pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause. I have this, I am perimenopausal and have been on a progesterone replacement for a year.
  2. Serious illness or major surgery. I have this, as my  hip replacement was a major surgery and occurred within the last 4 months.
  3. Stress. Always a part of life, but my stress since last October has been much higher than normal. I would describe it as “through the roof”. It’s getting close to being back to what I could consider a more normal level, but the stress was hell for over 5 months without relief.
  4. Use of corticosteroid medications, such as Prednisone. This is the ONE factor I do not have.
  5. Being overweight. Remember, I gained about 15 pounds after my surgery.
  6. Being sedentary. This was me as well. Once my physical therapy ended, I was so frustrated with how hard walking was that my activity levels were hit or miss. Mostly miss.

Finding this information had a very calming effect on me. 3 of the factors were out of my control (the stress I felt was inflicted on me, it took awhile to be able to deal with it), but they were either over or they could be managed. I knew I could change my eating habits and make myself do something most days out of the week. I felt calm enough to start to plan how to deal with this and take control of my health again.

The first thing I did was break out my copy of the book “The Metabolism Miracle” which is a low-carb eating plan designed for people that have what the author describes as Metabolism B (see Diana Kress’ blog page, twitter page, and Metabolism Miracle FB page for some preliminary information and how to order the newest version of her book). Joe B and I did this back in 2013 and we had good results, we just didn’t stay with it. I wanted something that will bring my A1c down in a healthy and efficient manner. I started with dinner that very same night of baked chicken and non-starchy vegetables, and started my next morning off with lean protein and vegetables.

The next thing I did was make a plan to move every day. I packed my workout clothes on the days I did my commute to KC. I walked when I worked in town or got on the elliptical machine at Thorpe Fitness Center. The day after my diagnosis I got on the elliptical for the first time a few months. I stayed on for 45 minutes and it was brutal. I did something every day for 6 days in a row. I was more sore than I could remember in a long time….just general muscle soreness as the new hip joint felt great.

(*By the way, my doctor followed up with me  the next day and told me she felt that my blood glucose was high because of all the changes to my diet and activity stemming from my surgery and recovery. She referred me to a dietician and felt that I wouldn’t have any problem bringing it back down with some changes to my diet and exercising more. She has a lot of faith in me. Lol).

My primary focus is on bringing my A1c score down. I feel like the weight loss is a secondary benefit. If I had trouble staying on the Metabolism Miracle plan before, or if I didn’t have the will or energy to walk, let me tell you this….there is NOTHING that will motivate you more than a diagnosis of pre-diabetes. I have been consistent. I have been diligent. I have been mindful. I share my daily progress with those closest to me. My diet consists of lean protein, non-starchy veggies, healthy sources of fat and LOTS of water. I’m doing all the things I’ve taught and recommended to my students to deal with or prevent diabetes. This was truly the kick in the butt that I needed to get me living healthy again instead of wallowing in my disappointment in how different my life has felt post-surgery. And I have my own cheering section of all 3 of my daughters, my husband, my family and extended family, and my best friends.

I’ve given up weighing myself every other day in order to eliminate potential sources of frustration. My focus is my blood glucose, not my weight. But when I did weigh myself almost 2 weeks ago, I had lost 11.5 pounds and I can fit back into the all the new work and summer clothes I bought last summer. I danced at a powwow last weekend and I had to move my dance belt back in to its original size. Before this, in April when I danced I had to move my belt out to its largest size. I can tell I’ve lost inches but I haven’t measured myself yet to see how many. I have more energy. That darned elliptical and my walking route with all the steep hills is finally getting easier. I tried out the stadium stairs once (they were as brutal as I remember them and I was only able to do one full set) and I am going back again with my daughter as soon as I finish this blog entry.

My good friend Kevin told me that this was all going to be a blessing. That I would be able to use my experiences in my teaching…showing my students and others that I’ve dealt with the beginnings of this disease, and showing them how I managed it. That it can be done. Sharing this experience is the first step.

I am counting the days (64!!!) until I go back for my follow-up A1c. 🙂  I didn’t want to share this at first because I was embarrassed. The diabetes teacher has pre-diabetes. But my maske’ Erica told me that it was nothing to be embarrassed about, it would just show people how hard this disease is to fight….for anyone.