Tag Archives: healing

Checking-In With Myself

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I made the executive decision to forego doing keto while I am figuring out my emotional eating. I will eat the keto meals that are nutritious and that I enjoy, such as my egg and veggie brunches, and I will continue to make food choices that benefit my health, but I feel it’s more important to not put restrictions on my self-learning. Restrictions induce stress when it comes to food for me, so let’s get that barrier out of the way while I get my learn on.

I am starting with taking note of how I am feeling throughout the day. I am putting a name to my feelings and differentiating between a physical sensation and an emotion. I’m not labeling anything as good or bad, each thought or emotion is simply something that’s going on in my body or in my head. It is what it is, yo. It is me and I am ok. I take a few moments to do a check-in with myself, and I am being deliberate about doing this frequently. I share these things throughout the day with my husband as well. That serves two purposes: 1) it helps me practice my marital communication skills, sharing with my companion because he is not a mind reader, 2) I remember when I first started on my anti-depressant and my provider suggested that my husband be my “barometer”. I can enlist his observation and intuitive skills to help show me the progress I am making or to bring something to my attention that I may not be seeing.

I have to slow down a little bit to take this mental “pause”. I am so used to being busy all the time that I always felt like this would be more hindrance than helpful. Like, “I got no time to be introspective!!!” But feeling compelled to be busy all the time is also stressful. Aaaahhhhhh, see what I just learned about myself there??? I’ve found that taking that pause takes less than a minute. And the more deliberate I am about practicing this, the better I will get at it and more comfortable I will feel with it.

When I was cooking dinner last night (my mom’s chili recipe), Joe B asked me if I was learning if I had any trigger foods (foods that set off a binge once I start in), or if I had identified the foods I most frequently crave when I’m stressed. I promptly responded “Popcorn, chips, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and butter pecan ice cream.” They are salty, crunchy, and in the case of cookies and ice cream, they have a salty-sweet combo, where if they are available and once I start in, then that’s all I want to eat. Now that I think about it and reflect back on yesterday, I also discovered that I have the same response to my homemade kale chips. They are salty, crunchy, and once I start in I will knock out a whole plate. But I’m not going to put the stamp of approval on this choice because it’s simply swapping one trigger food for a nutritionally-dense trigger food. That’s still emotional eating. Another “Ah-ha” moment for me there.

This path I’m on is already very interesting. I have to remind myself frequently that this is a J.O.U.R.N.E.Y. And I can take my time to take note of and enjoy all the new discoveries.

Let Me Introduce Myself – Shelley, the Emotional Eater

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I’ve been deep in thought for the last few days. Not posting much on social media, and just physically being quiet. Part of that I attribute to the side-effects of my meds (fatigue and stomach upset). The other part is processing how I’m feeling about acknowledging that I am an emotional eater. I wasn’t going to share this on my blog, but the writing is a good outlet for all that is going on in my brain.

Whenever I learn something new about myself, or acknowledge something that’s been there for awhile….I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I don’t have the words to write how deep the realization feels. When I’ve had an epiphany in the past about myself, I have felt rocked to my core, almost shaken. But this feels different. It’s made me very still and very thoughtful. The past few days I’ve been allowing my mind to gently and deliberately follow the train of my thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and the impact it has had on my emotional, mental, and physical health and wellness for the last several years. I’m not sure if “introspective” is an emotional descriptor, but this introspection feels deeply personal and raw.

I’ve been deflecting for years. I’ve always minimized it to myself by calling it “Stress Eating”. I eat in times of stress. I have specific food cravings in times of stress. I indulge in these specific foods when stressed because I feel I deserve it for enduring whatever stress has set these emotions off. I eat craving-specific foods when I’m not hungry. I eat craving-specific foods mostly when I’m tired. Overall, I have it in my mind that it will make me feel better. Add in the depression I’ve been experiencing since 2016 which one of the symptoms is a change in eating habits, and makes me vulnerable to stress. These are the hallmarks of emotional eating, but I could look away from that stress-inducing label by doing a swerve and believing it’s “only stress”. I told myself, “I’m not an emotional eater. I’m just a very busy mom and wife who has a high number of life stressors.” Lol. Seriously. That was my ever-present thought bubble.

I am being gentle with myself. That’s been part of the quietness. I disclosed my thoughts to my husband and while making meaningful eye contact with me, he just slowly nodded his head in agreement. He said he didn’t know how to bring it to my attention before, but he noticed how I used food to soothe my stress. He reminded me of how hard I can be on myself, and that he didn’t want me to beat myself up over this realization. That to heal from something I need to be gentle and give good care to myself.

In my current deep thought and quietness, looked through my past blog entries. All good stuff about nutrition, managing inflammation, depression recovery, diabetes, exercise, my 2 hip replacements, physical activity. However, I am still pre-diabetic. I am still on medication for depression. I am still not back to normal or consistent physical activity due to surgery and my most recent injury. I’m still processing my grief from losing my mom. And I know now that all of those wonderful tools that I’ve written about will not work for me consistently unless I address the elephant in the room. That elephant has a big sign on the side saying “Emotional Eating”. No amount of “keeping myself accountable” or “no excuses” or “willpower” or “staying busy” or “just think positive” will move the elephant out of my room. I believe that emotional eating is the root of many of my health issues, and that root will continue to sprout unhealthy weeds until I address it effectively. I need to take an unflinching look and a personal inventory on this part of myself. Personal wellness and healing is my journey. And although it still feels very raw, I’m grateful to have finally come to this knowledge about myself. I feel like I’m in a good place to start learning. I want to write about what I learn and how I implement the new knowledge, so I am going to use my blog to help me process.

Ketogenic Diet Witness

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keto diet blog pic

Here is the blog post I’ve wanted to write for months. I wrote about Intermittent Fasting (IF), giving up artificial sweeteners, gut health, and how effective those things were for me. What I hadn’t written about to-date, is my first experience with the Ketogenic Diet, and now my return to it.

Back in May 2018, after I competed in a shawl dance competition for the first time for an entire powwow, I decided to give the keto diet a whirl. I was getting ready to begin another wellness challenge, and I noticed the benefits of IF and giving up the Splenda on my joints and eliminating my sugar cravings. I follow Dr. Jason Fung and Dr. Eric Berg on social media, and I read Dr. Fung’s book, as well as the book pictured above. What intrigued me the most was not the weight loss, but the anti-inflammatory benefits of the diet, and being pre-diabetic still, the positive impact it would have on my labs/bloodwork. I got my labs done and found my A1c had come down another point from a high of 6.1 to 5.9. I have yet to check it again, but I have plans to in May 2019.

When I started keto in May 2018, I experienced what people call the “keto flu”, which is actually withdrawal symptoms from carbohydrates. I made a homemade electrolyte drink that my sister-friend Makyla sent to me and that helped alleviate the flu-like symptoms. Once I got through that, prepping my  lunches was fairly easy because I was lowering my carb intake for a few months prior. I did not do the high fat thing very well….I didn’t use it as an excuse to eat fatty meat and bacon, etc. But I did lost about 5 lbs in my first week. I checked my ketones regularly and knew I was in ketosis. Overall, the keto diet contributed to me losing 22 lbs from my highest weight at the beginning of 2018. The biggest benefits for me were that it gave me good energy all day long, and I didn’t have many food cravings. It also reduced the inflammation in my bad hip enough to where I ran my first 5K in years one month in. I danced jingle dress all summer and even got to the point where I was able to compete in fancy shawl and a few more powwows. I was feeling like my old self. It was very difficult to maintain at powwows, but it is difficult to maintain any healthy way of eating when you are on the road and away from your own kitchen, so that’s not really an excuse.

But I fell off over the summer, and I fell off further in the fall and early winter of 2018. I gained all my weight back because I wasn’t managing my work stress. I was very sporadic with my workouts with Travis and I felt tired all the time. The plus side is I got my crafting mojo back and that felt great!!! I made some beautiful things for my husband and kids and other close friends. I volunteered in my community and continued to attend my Al-Anon meetings and do my step-work with my sponsor. So it definitely wasn’t all bad. I look at it now as a time where I deepened my learning and deepened my work on my personal healing, and how that will help me balance and manage the stress from the challenges that will always be a part of life.

I wrote about joining the wellness challenge the beginning of January. And I started back on keto January 6. I was able to get back into ketosis within 3 days with no sleep issues and no keto flu. And I lost 5.8 lbs my first week back. I haven’t missed a day of training with Travis and I’m working my 5K training plan. We have had some really yucky weather here in KS for the past few weeks, but being in ketosis and reducing the inflammation has made it to where my joints don’t ache at all when the barometric pressure drops. I have so much energy, which is amazing because I’ve had alot of demands on my schedule and personal resources. I’ve been able to meet the demands on my time and energy and feel good about it.

The biggest difference for me is my approach and mindset. I truly believe that keto is working for me because I’ve embraced this Way of Eating (WOE). I’m committed to eating non-starchy vegetables, healthy fats, and good sources of protein. I’ve read over Whole 30 blogs and articles and one thing that struck me was how the Whole 30 diet does not have any recipes for “whole 30 brownies” or any other substitutes for the sweet and crunchy foods we have a type of dependence on. They said that trying to find substitutes for sweets and starchy goodness while on Whole 30 was like “sex with your pants on”. Lol. That’s where I was on the wrong track before. I wanted the benefits of keto without giving up the foods that were making me sick in the first place. My sister tried to explain this very thing to me a few years ago, but it didn’t click with me then. It has clicked with me now with resonance. I no longer look for recipes for fake sweets like muffins or cakes that use almond flour and a lot of artificial sweetener. Same with coffee drinks and other sources of sugar that I craved before. This time around, the ketogenic WOE is a complete mind-shift. I’m not focused on weight-loss, I’m focused on pain-management and energy. I don’t weigh myself with any regularity because I’m focused on managing the day to day things I want to do to treat my body with respect and reverence. I feel stronger, I can see the definition in my legs returning. And I did a fancy shawl dance practice yesterday and my legs felt great!!!!!

So there’s my keto testament. It’s not for everybody, so I won’t be a member of the “keto-police”, but I am happy to share what it’s done for me.

 

 

 

Intermittent Fasting

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It’s been awhile, I know….and I’ve had sooooo many topics I’ve wanted to write about. But the end of the year chaos as a middle school therapist is real….my energy was pulled in several different directions and I did not find the time to write. So there will most likely be several blog entries today. 🙂

As you all know from a previous blog post, I gave up artificial sweeteners in February. That is still very much in effect!!! There have been 2 times where a Diet Pepsi has sounded really good, but I just remembered how good my hip joints felt after giving up diet soda, so it has been fairly easy to avoid. It does feel a little strange when we travel to powwows now and we get snacks or drinks at a gas station. Since not all gas stations sell a LaCroix type of carbonated water, I find myself wandering the aisles before getting a bottle of plain water. It’s not bad though. The reduced inflammation in my hip and successful pain management is worth it.

Since giving up artificial sweeteners worked out so well, I decided on March 1 to give Intermittent Fasting (IF) a whirl. I became interested in it when I read a blog post on the KU Medical Center website about the benefits of IF. Intermittent Fasting is giving your body a temporary break from eating. Your body gets a break from the insulin response that occurs every time you eat something with calories, specifically carbohydrates. When I taught Diabetes and the Native Americans at Haskell, we went through what “insulin response” is, and which nutrients triggered a strong or mild response. Carbohydrates trigger a strong insulin response, protein a mild response depending on the amount you eat, and fat almost no response.

“When insulin blood sugar (from eating frequent meals or snacks, eg. every 90 minutes) dominates other hormones, proper gene expressions for longevity, healing and recovery won’t occur very much or very well. A temporary break from eating can give those healing hormones time to do their job. It’s actually very anti-inflammatory and can be corrective to hormone and metabolic issues, just to stop the food. It’s counter to everything we have been taught” (Randy Evans quote, KUMC Integrative Medicine Blog).

Hearing “anti-inflammatory” and “gut healing” was what really caught my attention. And IF as defined in the article I read wasn’t about extended fasts, it was about spacing out your meals and eating on a schedule. And the blog article talked about how traditionally, we used to have to fast at least overnight because we did not have access to food 24/7 like we do now. Grocery stores were not open 24 hours, nor were restaurants or fast food places, and convenience stores didn’t sell cooked food as they do now. When you stop eating at 6pm and don’t eat again until breakfast the next day, that is a 12-hour fast. Intermittent Fasting is not a new thing….it’s an old thing that the medical field is now realizing as beneficial.

I decided to try a 16:8 fast, where I stop eating around 8pm, then I don’t eat again until noon the next day. That gives me a 16 hour break from food, and then I have an 8-hour window to get my calories in for the day. What it meant for me was skipping breakfast, drinking my black coffee or green tea, and water until noon. It was not hard for me to do this. I read several articles and ordered books from Dr. Jason Fung and Dr. Eric Berg. It is suggested to put coconut oil in your coffee if you struggle with hunger pangs until lunch. The fat in the coconut oil will give a sense of satiety without generating an insulin response. I do this sometimes, I find that after a couple cups of coffee I don’t feel hungry anyway.

I also discovered that how I start my fast and how I break my fast are very important to how I feel doing IF. I break my fast with a low-carb lunch. I have been posting pictures of my lunches on my Wozani Waste’ Instagram blog page. That keeps my energy consistent after my  lunch and doesn’t create a strong insulin response. I continued to drink my kombucha for the gut healing properties. Sometimes I break my fast with a cup of homemade bone broth, sometimes I break my fast with 2 scoops of collagen protein powder mixed with unsweetened almond milk. The couple of times I broke my fast with a higher carb meal, my energy tanked and I didn’t feel as good I normally do coming off a 16 hour fast.

The results from Intermittent Fasting:

  1. I lost 10 pounds
  2. My hip feels GREAT!!
  3. My energy is better, no more mid-afternoon slumps
  4. I have a spring in my step
  5. It is very easy to maintain

Here are some links to the blog article and another blogger who had success with IF. I don’t think it’s an active blog, but it gives really good information and real-world experiences.

https://www.kansashealthsystem.com/InternalMedicine/integrative-medicine/blog-posts/intermittent-fasting

http://foodcanwait.com/home/my-weight-loss-journey-intermittent-fasting/

I told my friends what I was doing and they were very interested. I needed to write this a few months ago, but to be honest, I wanted to make sure it worked and that it was something I could maintain before I posted it in my blog. It works for me. Joe B started doing it too, he does a 12:12 fast. The nice thing about Intermittent Fasting is that YOU configure it to how it will work best for YOU. 16:8 works for me….I tried a 18:6 but I struggled a bit. I am so very thankful I found this information and tried it. The pain management, reducing the inflammation, has been the biggest benefit of this process.

 

Trying My Hand At Homemade Bone Broth

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Trying my hand at making homemade bone broth. I bought 3 lbs of local beef bones yesterday at Steve’s Meat Market in DeSoto, KS. So there’s the 3 lbs of bones, onion, carrots, celery, red and green bell pepper, pink Himalayan salt and black peppercorns, sitting in a large stock pot. I let the bones soak for 30 minutes in water and 2 Tbs of organic apple cider vinegar (the kind that includes the “mother”) first. Now it’s heating up and it has to simmer for at least 24 hours. I’ve been reading about the benefits of bone broth: gut healing properties, help with inflammation, relief for the symptoms of arthritis, joint and muscle repair. It’s an excellent source of calcium and magnesium for people who don’t have access to dairy products. So THAT’S how we got our calcium back in the day!! Back when we as Native people were the healthiest people on the planet. 😊

I’ll keep you posted on how it turns out.

Gut Health and Healing From A Cellular Level

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Some of the lifestyle changes I’m in the process making are about my health, and not necessarily about losing weight. I want my body to heal and to become strong from the inside out. I want to heal at a cellular level, if that helps explain my mindset. My desire to make positive change feels that deep. I’m making changes for healing my body, my mind and my spirit.

I’m not about making huge sweeping changes and being obsessive about cutting out types of foods. Except for artificial sweetener. That’s gone for good. I am absolutely loving being without artificial sweeteners. It’s 3 weeks now since I gave it up. I continue to not have sugar cravings. When I do eat something sweet, it’s a deliberate decision. Not one based on stress or other emotions. I am finding though that I am indulging in sweets very little. It’s really nice not to feel like I’m fighting cravings all the time. That was getting so frustrating. It was like a weight hanging around my neck that I couldn’t shake. That weight is gone and so is any guilt about indulging occasionally. The cravings being gone gives me some space in my head to think about whether I really want something, and also has helped my creativity in coming up with sweet treats made from real food when I want to indulge.

I’ve also been asking questions via FB messenger of a former coworker, a dietician, about artificial sweeteners. She told me how some artificial sweeteners can change the Ph in your gut, and may kill gut bacteria. Losing gut bacteria may lead to some gut permeability and then inflammation. In my case, inflammation leads to increased hip pain, but I also learned that it’s a big risk factor for heart disease and chronic conditions like type 2 diabetes, and possibly lupus and RA.

So then I had to look up “gut permeability” and found out it’s called “leaky gut syndrome”. I’d heard of it before but had no clue what it was. What I read wasn’t fun. But it made sense to me. That’s a whole ‘nother blog post because it’s very science-y. But it made me realize how quitting artificial sweeteners is the beginning of the healing process for my gut.

I remain surprised and grateful for the huge difference I’ve felt in my hip pain since giving up artificial sweetener. And if it’s related to healing my gut, then I want more of that. I’ve began drinking kombucha since last fall, and this weekend I’m going to give bone broth a whirl. Plain Greek yogurt is always in my fridge, as well as fruits, veggies, and healthy fats like avocados and nuts.

Friends and family, you have no idea how thankful I feel to finally start feeling better. I have a spring in my step for the first time in a long time. My mood has improved. And I appreciate the taste of food so much more than before. The changes feel good. And there are more changes we’ve been making that I will write about soon. Drop a comment below if you have had similar experiences. I would love to hear your stories.