Tag Archives: mental health

Better Mornings

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My favorite time of day used to be first thing in the morning. I would wake up with my coffee already made (the inventor of the programmable coffee maker deserves a Noble prize), sit on the couch and read the morning paper. It was a nice, quiet, relaxed start to each day. Then my local morning paper became too much money for too little news, and smart phones and social media really took off. My morning paper gradually gave way to laying in bed and checking my FaceBook (and then Twitter, and THEN Instagram, and then there’s SnapChat….you get my drift), and went directly to drinking/gulping coffee while I cooked breakfast for my kids. My new habits invariably left me running late and not in the best mood depending on what was trending on social media…bad news=bad mood.

Lately I have been deliberate about NOT checking my phone right before I go to sleep, and NOT checking it as soon as I wake up either. This week I started waking up 45 minutes before I have to start getting ready for work. And I’ve been drinking my coffee and reading. I finished my new favorite book “Love Warrior” and I’ve started reading the blog “Momastery” by the book’s author, Glennon Doyle Melton. My days this week have gotten off to a much better start. So much so that I actually cooked chocolate chip pancakes for my kids this morning (I used to do this all the time and have been slacking as of late).

Everyone was in a good mood this morning and got out the door on time. I even had time to re-do my 10-year old’s bun 3 times before it looked right to her. Today is going to be good day.

The optimism today could be my efforts to return to my morning habits. It could be I’m getting better sleep. It could be the absence of eye-strain from not checking my phone screen and reading in the dark at 6:00am. And it could just be the chocolate chip pancakes. I think chocolate chip pancakes make any day better.

Back To School Motivation

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My kids start school THIS WEDNESDAY!! Although they love summer vacation, they miss their friends. I miss having a routine. We’re all looking forward to the beginning of the school year.

I felt like I was in a good groove at the beginning of summer, but then I started on a new medication for an old condition and it zapped my energy. Although I didn’t overeat because it killed my appetite, it felt impossible to get a workout in, cook, or do anything productive. Not for lack of food, I just felt lethargic all the time. My motivation to improve my health went in the tank for a little while. Thank goodness again for my support team (family). They helped me along in so many different ways. I’m finally getting used to my meds and figuring out different ways to gain more energy, so my motivation has returned.

My sister got me in the habit of walking with her for 45 minutes (using my work’s wellness leave policy) as soon as we get to work. I really look forward to our walks everyday. It’s a nice way to start the day, visiting and cackling around with my sister, it wakes me up and gives me energy, and I feel really good knowing I’m doing something that is making me stronger everyday and helping me battle pre-diabetes. Research has shown that consistent activity is much more beneficial than intensity. Meaning that a person who walks 45 minutes on most days (5-6 days per week) will have greater health benefits over time than a person who runs 3-5 miles 2-3 times per week. I had developed a habit of bringing my workout clothes to work and then getting busy working and not working out. So getting it done first thing in the morning has been awesome. My sister and kids have been the big motivators for the August powwow dance challenge we signed up for. I don’t feel like doing it half the time, but they bug me and I do it, and then I am glad I did. Lol. I can’t wait for the day I’ll feel better to where I am the big motivator again.

I’ve been cooking at home consistently, so I guess I should give myself props for that. That is actually a good indicator of my motivation returning, that I have the energy and make the time to cook. I’ve tried out a new recipe and it turned out great and is so easy! I’ll share it later in another blog entry. My husband told me that they all missed my cooking so we’re all glad my energy to cook has returned.

And today I started an 8-week wellness challenge organized by a former social work colleague. My sister and I, and my sister-in-law are all doing the challenge. I always think these types of things are fun, beneficial, and we’re competitive so that’s fun as well. We are in it to win it!!! Lol.

I’ve learned that my day, and how I feel, and how productive I am, is all set within the first 5 minutes of waking up. I’m doing gratitude writing exercises on most days, and I give thanks as soon as I wake up for everything. I know that the little things I can do each day are all adding up to better health, improving my physical, spiritual, and mental health. And when I feel healthy in all those areas I can be more of service to others.

My Typical Day Now

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I am trying to practice consistency in all areas of my life…nutrition, physical activity, stress management, time management, studying for my LMSW exam….and my blog. To help facilitate making the blog portion of my daily life more consistent, I’ve created a Facebook page just for my blog. https://www.facebook.com/wozaniwaste/

One of my biggest decisions in the last few weeks was to give up trying to make deadlines for powwows. My friends and family know that I love to sew. It’s a form of stress relief. I sew for my entire family and I take orders for friends and families. Over the years I’ve developed a habit of what I would refer to as “binge sewing”….meaning I get frantic about meeting a deadline and I end up spending all my time trying to get an item done for a specific powwow, either for my family or for an order. Powwow beaders and seamstresses are well acquainted with this. Lol. It is anything but “stress relief”. What occurs in those instances is that my cooking and healthy eating go out the window. My sleep is little to non-existent. I don’t take the time to exercise because I’m too focused on getting something finished. And my time and attention is taken away from my kids and family. I decided two weeks ago that I am no longer going to do it. The cost to my health and my family’s health isn’t worth wearing a new item immediately at a powwow, or even fulfilling an order. I will have to get used to giving a much more generous estimate on completion dates for orders. My family will understand if I don’t get something done. And I can deal with my own impatience of wanting something done right away. At least I think I can…..haha.

I also asked one of my former students, and recent MSW graduate, to be my study partner so I can finally sit for the LMSW test. Leaving myself to my own devices has resulted in no studying getting done. So I reached out and we have made arrangements to meet once per week to study together. I even downloaded an app she sent that sends me one practice exam question everyday. I am proud to say I got my first question right today. Lol.

So….my typical day consists of the following:

I try to get at least 6-7 hours of sleep. When I wake up I drink 2 big cups of water and have my beloved coffee. I just drink it straight up…no creamer or sweetener. I have to take a synthetic thyroid pill every morning on an empty stomach to treat hypothyroidism (was diagnosed in my early 20’s), so I have to wait an hour before I eat anything. My breakfast after the hour is either a smoothie made with unsweetened cashew milk, natural PB, whey protein powder, a handful of spinach and ice cubes, or I poach an egg and eat it on a slice of low-carb toast. Or low-carb toast and PB. It’s rare that I have the time and alertness enough to make a veggie omelet. The Metabolism Miracle book has a good “hot cereal” that I like to make as well on occasion. On days where I am really rushed I just use a shaker cup and throw some cashew or almond milk and a heaping scoop of protein powder and run out the door.

I pack my lunch every day to take to work. My lunch box today consists of leftover steak and pepper stir fry, an Atkins protein shake, celery and natural peanut butter, and a bag of mini sweet peppers. There’s a water cooler at work so I keep a 32 oz water bottle at my desk and I try to drink 2 a day. This sames me money and I’m not tempted my restaurant food that’s not in my eating plan.

I have a membership to the wellness facility at my work. Costs me less than a dollar a day and they have an indoor track, weight machines, free weights, cardio equipment, basketball court, racquetball courts, and a small pool. I pack my workout bag every time I go to work (45-50 min drive from home) even if I don’t use it everyday. When I do use it, I use a combination of the cardio equipment, and yesterday I started in on the weights. I need to use the pool more but it’s a pain washing the chlorine out of my hair and trying to get back to the office within my allotted wellness leave time. If I run out of time to workout at work, I make sure I do something at home. Usually walking in my neighborhood with my girls. I’ve also been trying to do something during commercials if I’m watching TV, like squats or push-ups. Lately I’ve added the stadium steps once per week. That’s a killer so I don’t see myself doing that anymore that once every 7 days anytime soon. I try to do any activity for 45 minutes, the very minimum of 30 minutes per day, 6 days out of the week.

I may have mentioned in a previous blog entry that I have battled depression in the past. It’s something I try to stay on top of because I don’t like taking medication. I mean I will if necessary, I just try to manage things so that it doesn’t get to that point. Exercise can change and lift your mood in as little as a 15 minute walk. So not only is exercise important to my goal of getting rid of pre-diabetes, it is a powerful tool in my efforts to combat depression. I’ve also started a gratitude journal and I have my girls keeping a gratitude journal of their own. Staying optimistic is very important to health. Writing things down and practicing gratitude will change ones outlook for the better. Which is also very important to preventing depression and staying motivated on this health journey.

I try to cook as often as I can. I like to make extra of whatever I cook so we can have leftovers the next day. That saves me at least 3 nights of cooking every week. Lol. Once in awhile I would prep several meals in one afternoon and I haven’t been able to make the time to that in a long time. Something I need to prioritize because it was really nice to have a full meal that I just had to thaw and re-heat on very busy days, or post-powwow travel days.

We are in softball season now, so Joe B and I run practice or coach games 3 nights per week. Time management and prioritizing are essential. It has been testing my resolve from the 1st paragraph daily….do I cook or sew some more shells on the dentalium cape sitting on a table in front of the TV???? Of course I cook. But the answer even one month ago would have been “Are you kidding? SEW SHELLS ON THE CAPE!!!”

The biggest differences for me between now and 2 months ago are the daily activity and keeping my grams of carbohydrates to less than 5 net grams per meal and if I eat a snack before bedtime. And not obsessing over getting sewing done. That’s huge.

I try to patient with myself, reminding myself daily that it’s a journey, not a race. Which is why I don’t step on the scale anymore and just focus on today, and when I need extra motivation, I focus on my next A1c in August. Daily gratitude and daily focus. 🙂

Encourage, don’t discourage

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I am always happy to see others succeed in their quest for health, especially those who have been unhealthy for most of their adult lives. It’s gratifying and encouraging when our Native people (or any group of people who suffer from similar health disparities as American Indians) find the motivation to learn about nutrition, physical activity, and how to incorporate both into their daily lives. However, I take issue with those new to the health scene calling others down for their lack of knowledge or motivation. I am thinking of specific examples where I’ve read about people on social media sites bragging themselves up and simultaneously putting others down for not being “on their level”….whatever that means. And the same people bragging themselves up and putting others down have just recently discovered their own good health.

Those people who engage in that type of behavior don’t realize that we remember how unhealthy they were 5 minutes ago. They are not in a position to judge others and their efforts, or lack of efforts. I also take issue with those who make condescending remarks or belittle those who are trying to be health and/or active. People don’t realize how fortunate they are to have grown up with sports or active families…..or to have grown up with parents/caregivers who cooked all the time and had basic healthy eating knowledge, and access to healthy/whole foods. I see kids in my own community whose parents don’t feel that sports are important, or they don’t get out and engage in activity with their kids. Also people don’t realize how fortunate they are to have healthy, fully functioning bodies….bodies without arthritis, without chronic injuries or illness, bodies that don’t prevent them from doing anything they want to do.

I will admit to being a running snob towards one or two people that I didn’t care for back in the day….I remember thinking and making a couple of comments about someone I had seen running for a few years, that with all their running you would think they might be a little faster or look a little lighter….the epitome of a running snob. But since then I’ve seen that there is no excuse for that type of behavior and snobbishness. We don’t know by looking at someone what their story is, or what their challenges are. Maybe that person whom I saw running at a snails pace for years has managed to keep from gaining 50 pounds and prevented diabetes with that activity. Maybe that person has some health issues that keep their running from looking like what we believe to be a runner’s pace/gait/form/body. Maybe the person NOT running and just walking is a former runner who physically can’t run anymore. Maybe the person who expresses their pride in running 3 miles has just done something they never thought they were capable of.

We don’t need to put others down in order to elevate ourselves. And we are in no position to judge another’s journey towards health.

We, as Native people, need to encourage others in our quest for health. We need to model the behavior that we want others to emulate. We need to do this so the generations that follow will be healthy and ensure our continued presence on this planet. And the people most secure and sincere in their own quest for health are the ones who are most encouraging to others. Be that kind of person. We can’t have too many of those in our communities.

Learning Gratitude in 2014

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Today is January 31 and tonight people will be celebrating the coming of the New Year. In typical New Year’s fashion, I am reflecting a bit on the past year. I love the beginning of the calendar New Year. People are motivated and hopeful….I’m not into the “New Year-New Me” kind of thing because I’ve learned that you can’t wait to make positive change, but I’m always happy to see people motivated. That positive energy is contagious.

I actually renewed my health goals at the beginning of December. I didn’t want to wait until New Year’s to do it. I wanted to get a jump start on what I want for myself and my family. I went back to Weight Watchers (which helped me lose 32 pounds in 2001-2002), and continued with my personal training sessions. I’m going to begin my New Year 7 pounds lighter as a result. I’m also going to begin 2014 feeling much better mentally, spiritually, and emotionally than the last 2 years.

The biggest contributor to the improved mental/spiritual/emotional condition in 2014 was actively practicing gratitude….consistently remembering to give thanks as soon as I wake up. We tend to think we are grateful for this life, but you notice a difference when you start to consciously develop the habit of saying “Thank you” and counting your blessings upon waking. It puts me in a positive frame of mind before I get out of bed. It generates positive energy. And like I said a few paragraphs ago, positive energy is contagious.

Gratitude brings positive energy….positive energy brings peace of mind and spirit….and that peace leaves room for the good stuff, like being happy for others and enjoying their successes. It also brings the belief that you can have your own success in whatever way you define that for yourself, and motivates you to take the steps to gain that success.

I do love this life and everyone in it. It’s amazing when I hear my children say at random times, “I’m thankful for…….” As I am re-learning gratitude, they are learning it as well. My Christmas gift from my babies was  bracelet with a charm that says, “I love you to the moon and back”, and it came on a card that said: Love this life….Love is about welcoming the blind turn and the possibility that there’s no such thing as coincidence….and that empathy is incredibly sexy….and that it’s never too late to pick up a guitar or a paintbrush…or to make an amend or to make a new friend….Love this Life.

Those are my thoughts this morning in my quiet house, while everyone sleeps…..while enjoying my coffee. Feeling grateful for all the blessings in my life.

Why Culture is Important to Health

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This is the original, unedited, version of a newsletter article I wrote that was just released today. I wanted to share this on my blog after it came out in print.

One dictionary definition of “culture” is “the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another.” Indigenous people are rich with culture. Not only because each sovereign nation has its own definitive and unique sum total of ways of living, but because cultural knowledge is seen as valuable…priceless. And cultural knowledge is deemed necessary to our way of life as Indigenous people.

Dakota/Lakota/Nakoda people have a term for “healthy lifestyle” or a “good way of life”. Wicozani is not simply a state of physical health, but a world-view, a philosophy practically applied, that attends to a person’s physical, mental, social and spiritual wellness. Wicozani encompasses all that contributes to our wellness, our good way of life, which for Indigenous people begins with culture.

Indigenous ways of life prior to Western contact included our own food systems, healing traditions that included knowledge of medicinal plants and spiritual practices, plenty of physical activity, and strong social support amongst our tiwahe (immediate family) and our tiospaye (extended family). Our gender roles were strong and equitable and contributed to the well-being of families and society. Our adults taught children what was expected of them to become strong, healthy, productive individuals by example. All generations were considered valuable to society and were cared for accordingly. Tribal and family history was taught with stories. Our Indigenous languages offered explanations for environmental and universal phenomena that cannot be wholly translated into English, but recently have been found to be in –line with prominent scientists and theorists. We continue to transmit this knowledge to younger generations today.

We were once some of the healthiest people on the planet. We lived and practiced Wicozani. It was normal to us to pay attention to and take care of all aspects of ourselves.

Life is not easy today. Stressors abound with personal and family finances, job insecurity, limited access to affordable, healthy food and exercise outlets. There is social stress from living as an Indigenous person in a Western world. Contemporary society pressures us to believe that one aspect of our wellness is more important than others, whether it be education, job success/material success, or physical health. When life’s stressors start to pile up and make us feel overwhelmed, or when we start to notice our own mental, emotional and physical health failing, or that of our loved ones, our biggest asset in the search for Wicozani, is being able to tap the innate cultural knowledge that exists in all Indigenous people. Remember how strong your people were at one point. Know that you already possess the knowledge passed down from our ancestors. And know that you have everything you need to be strong and healthy once again.

Motivation….that elusive “thing”

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I have osteoarthritis in both hips. I am only 46 years old and I am looking at total hip replacement surgery sometime down the line. It’s hard for me to run because of the ensuing joint pain and I’m losing range of motion in my right hip. It’s painful to tie my shoes or tape up my moccasins when I dance. I can’t dance the way I used to even 2 years ago….I have to modify several of my steps or just not do them.

I am getting a good lesson in dealing with a chronic condition….like diabetes or lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. It’s hard. It’s hard to get motivated to find what works to manage the pain. It’s hard and very emotional when I look at what may be down the line for me…it’s hard when I think about losing the things that have been such a big part of me for so long. Like running and shawl dancing. I have a lot of ups and downs and it’s hard to tell anyone about it because I don’t want to drag anyone down, and I don’t feel very many understand. I just recently went through a very difficult and emotional time, one of several that I’ve experienced in the last 20 months.

But this week I have felt awesome. Really really good. I feel like I have found and gotten a good grip on that thing that health educators talk about all the time…”motivation”.  Defined as “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.” In order to make positive change, we must be motivated to do so. I remember working a social work job and one of the social work specialists said, “They don’t train us in this job how to motivate people to change.” Which is true. While psychologists or public health workers can be trained in motivational interviewing (a technique used to evaluate the level of a person’s willingness to change and help push them forward), most people in the helping professions are at a loss as to how to motivate people.

There are 2 types of motivation: “Intrinsic” and “Extrinsic”. Extrinsic motivation is where your motivation comes from an external source….like getting good grades because your parents offer to pay you for every A on your report card, or buying you something if you make the Dean’s List. There are endless examples of extrinsic motivation….but this type of motivation is short-lived. It may last until the reward has been earned and then it’s gone. It may disappear before the reward is earned if the reward seems too far away or unattainable. Point is, It doesn’t last long. Intrinsic motivation, is the internal desire to change….it can be based on some type of perceived reward or fear that hits close to home. My best example of that is when a grandparent makes long-term changes to their health regimen in order to be able to see their grandchildren grow up. Or a person decides to lose weight or exercise more, not because they want to improve their appearance alone, but because they want to FEEL better both physically and emotionally.

My motivation has had some severe ups and downs since my diagnosis. I believe I’ve had a string of short-term motivated times because my motivation has been extrinsic…I’ve been motivated to do my PT exercises until I felt it wasn’t really helping the pain or help me get back to running. I’ve been motivated to just keep doing what I’ve been doing, kind of like rebelling against my OA, only to be struck down by debilitating joint pain. I’ve been motivated to try all different kinds of supplements until I overdid my activity and felt miserable because of the pain.

These days I feel very motivated. And I believe the positive vibe I have going is because I’m finally sorting out everything I have tried before, which includes changes in diet, supplements, hot yoga, biking, reaching out to friends and family, and changing my way of thinking of my dance career. A few weeks ago I was looking at the near-end of my shawl dance career….I thought that I could last another year or two at the most and then I would be done. And when that sunk in, I grieved….like I was losing a life-friend. Thankfully my friends, my companion, and my family pulled me out of that pit of despair. I have a sense of hope now….which feels brand new to me. And I have a deep-seated confidence, which is also new, that I will achieve my wellness goals that I have altered in a positive and realistic way. Both of those feelings, the hope and the confidence, have boosted my motivation.

My motivation comes now from knowing that I can manage my OA pain. It’s not hopeless. A good quality of life is not out of my reach.  I’ve had several weeks of pain-free joints and I’m confident that what I’m doing is working and that I can continue. I KNOW what works now. Limiting carbohydrates in my diet, taking some supplements that are working, including Xyngular’s Global Blend, alfalfa, Omega-3, a B-complex, and drinking my turmeric tea. Drinking alot of water. Eating alot of nutrient rich vegetables. Avoiding commercially raised feed-lot red meat and switching to grass-fed beef. I love the elliptical machine…it feels like I’m running without the joint pain. Stretching, I am learning to love and get better at. And getting my rest. My motivation increases each day that I wake and can walk with little to no pain. And my shawl dancing….we’ll see how that goes. But I’m hopeful. I’m focused and grateful for what my body can do….instead of obsessing about what it can’t do. I’m looking at all I have to gain with maintaining these positive changes, instead of thinking about what I am losing. When I make food choices in a restaurant I think about what will help me the most, and that means selecting salmon and spinach and broccoli and giving away my bread and NOT ordering dessert. I don’t think about HAVING to give up a French Dip sandwich or a slice of lemon meringue pie, I think about all the good things the salmon and the Omega-3 and all those green veggies will do for my body and my joints. So my motivation comes from a place of positive thinking, encouragement, helping and healing my body. Because I want to feel better. I love how I feel when I do these things. The changes make my bad days not so bad and make the good days that much better. I’m making myself better, which will make me better for all those around me.

I really want to publicly thank my husband Joe B…who has had to put up with my mood swings but he never gives in to my negative thinking. And I want to thank my sister Sharon who is my biggest cheerleader and always finding new things for me to try. My sister Sandy, who with my sister Sharon, always keeps it real with me, and my BFF, my Maske, Erica….my example of perseverance through tough times. My brother Elwood because he has no idea of how special he is to me. Special acknowledgement and thanks to Mike LaFrombois and Kevin Tacan….the male version of “maske” for me. They both have such positive outlooks even with all they deal with, and lend me their good vibes all the time. They are excellent listeners, and Kevin recommended the alfalfa supplements. These people help hold me up even if they don’t realize it, and I’m eternally grateful. Wopida tanka to each of you, and to the others I didn’t mention (you know who you are) who have helped me in any way.